Parallel World

Chapter 10

"Do you ever miss your country?"

"Sometimes. But I will always have the option to go back. Although... Every time I go back to Britain it feels like a different country. And look at London... I recognise the buildings but I don't recognise the city."

"Then you will understand me. I dream of going back but I'm afraid of what I'll see. It's a completely different country now and I'm afraid I won't recognise my birthplace and will feel like a stranger, an outsider, there. My country doesn't have high mountains, there are no breathtaking waterfalls but it has plenty of beautiful meadows and fields full of wheat, rye and barley. We have rivers so serene you could sit on their banks for hours, forests where you can feel true wilderness. When I was young I often laid down on the moss and felt part of the nature around me. My country was surrounded by the sea that was normally calm but could also produce huge storms in the winter. The sky above was bright blue and, in the autumn, as I had eaten the last apple from our orchard, I would observe the leaves turning red and yellow. My people worked a lot but they never forgot to rest. On Sunday evenings, when we had finished all jobs for the week, my entire family went first to the bath house and then gathered in front of our house. My father played the accordion and we all sang."

"Sounds beautiful."

Martin was known as the sad vampire. His face was almost always serious and his expressive blue eyes often showed sorrow. He was a regular at Glory & Shame and although Martin was keen to socialise he never told much about himself and never talked about his past. His sudden candor took me by surprise.

It was five pm and we were in my office. Martin was renowned for his money management and bookkeeping skills and consulted me from time to time. We had just finished going through some paperwork when he asked his question. Not living in my homeland wasn't an issue for me - I wasn't in an exile. I had left deliberately to have a fresh start.

"It's been more than a century since I last visited my country."

"Where exactly are you from?"

"I come from a small country called Latvia. It is independent now but used to be part of the Russian Empire. It's in Northeastern Europe."

"I know where Latvia is."

"Really? I'm used to Brits not being very good with geography."

"I know what you mean. I've met some Brits who would struggle to find Leeds on a map. However, I am nothing like that. I've always loved maps. In my teens, when I got really busy in the lab, I used to study maps to unwind after a long day. Besides, I think it's only polite to know at least your neighbouring countries."

"I was born in a wealthy farmer family in 1871, the third of five children. Just like my elder brothers, I loved working in the fields, however, I was also interested in books and science. My parents wanted to send at least one child to school and they chose me. After graduating from a gymnasium I was accepted at a university in St Petersburg. I was very good at maths and, whilst still being a student, I was hired by Count Mikhailov. He put me in charge of his accounts. The Count was nearly sixty years old but he liked to keep himself busy and showed no signs of slowing down. I was never short of tasks to do. By the time I graduated I had become indispensable. A couple of times a year I had to go on business trips to Central Europe. In August 1905 I visited my family in Latvia. To this day I remember everything in great detail: seeing my parents and siblings again, our shared meals, I remember myself standing in a field and enjoying the beauty of the landscape. On the day I left my mother prepared a special meal and baked an apple pie. I even remember the white linen table cloth, she only used it for special occasions. When the time to farewell came I thought I would see them again in either winter or spring. I had a trip to Hungary scheduled in September. Count Mikhailov was doing business with a Hungarian nobleman called Mikosz and asked me to check a few things he was unsure of. I arrived in Budapest, examined some paperwork and realised that Mikosz had defrauded the Count. I wrote to Mikosz immediately demanding an explanation. He invited me to see him. I went there without realising what would happen. He praised my skills as only a very financially literate person would have noticed the fraud. He offered me money to look the other way but I said no. We spent a while arguing. I was about to leave and send a message to St Petersburg. My mistake is that I didn't do it before the faithful meeting. My hand was on the door handle when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in the neck. I couldn't' believe it - Mikosz was drinking my blood! He drank at least two pints before he let me fall onto the floor. He said he was sorry for using such drastic methods, however, he couldn't let me expose his criminal actions. He offered me two options: either I die or become his associate as it would be a pity to lose such a brilliant mind. To show me that he really means it he grabbed me again and drank more of my blood. As I felt my blood being drained away from my veins I panicked and accepted his cruel offer. That's how I became a vampire. Mikosz thought it would be better if I pretended to have gone missing in Budapest. I moved in with him and started helping Mikosz in his shady deals. After twenty years I had had enough and left without saying a word. What could have he done about it? When he sentenced me to this existence Mikosz took away my feelings of fear and honor. I didn't want to stay in Hungary but I couldn't return to neither St Petersburg nor Latvia. I went to Austria and later moved to Germany. I spent a lot of time travelling. For a while I was tempted to return to Latvia and see my family but it wasn't possible. How would I explain my disappearance all those years ago and the fact I hadn't aged a day? I'd rather have my family to think that I was dead than see me like this. Years later I was still thinking about going back and settling in a different part of the country but that, too, was risky. My siblings were almost certainly still alive. What if, by a strange coincidence, I would encounter them somewhere? No, I couldn't go back."

So that's what his story was... Over the years I had heard all sorts of sad stories, including some truly unbelievable ones. Martin was once forced to make a decision he wouldn't have made under any other circumstances. He wasn't to blame - me, I accepted Mason's offer only because I was scared of death. Jack had once accepted Cecile's offer for the same reason.

"You blame yourself, don't you?" I asked. "You blame yourself that you didn't warn Count Mikhailov about the fraud, that you went to confront Mikosz on your own? You think if only you had acted differently then you wouldn't have fallen into a trap and would have remained human. You imagined going back to St Petersburg and getting praised by the old count. After that you would have gone to visit your family. I bet that in your thoughts you saw yourself sitting at the table with them and thinking how nice it is to be back home."

Martin nodded. He looked even sadder now.

"A wise man once said - if you can't change something, don't beat yourself up about it," I said. I had heard this from Jack who, understandably, was a big fan of Erich Maria Remarque. "You couldn't change anything then, you can't change it now. Let your wound heal."