Strutting into the room, all she sees is darkness. She felt the silence taking over her body. The sound of each beat of her own heart made her hair on her body rise, the silence of the room taking over. She just needed to get away. She felt suffocated. Drowning. Not being able to stand watching her mate with someone else. Elain. Trying to stomach the feelings that were rising, she needed to get away. Wanted to go somewhere away from the ball that they were attending. Away from the happiness, the entertainment, the dancing and noise. Toasting in his name, the fact he came back, weeks after he had disappeared on a mission.
Hurt. Bleeding. Broken. That's how she found him, before she saved him. Taking him back to her small house in the woods, away from everyone and any other danger. She helped him by nursing him back to health. Until her doors where thrown open and there stood the general of the night court. Staring her down as he notices her tending to Azriel. He took one look at her with his hazel eyes soften and shimmered with gratitude. Cassain took them both to Velaris, the beautiful city and its lights, the place was enchanting. Introducing her to the inner circle and let her continue tending to Azriel, as she couldn't let go of him until she knew he was fully healed.
She didn't know how she ended up in the same place where Azriel had been hurt, why she snapped into a side she didn't know and dragged him back to her place to help him. Her coming weeks were spent tending to his wounds.
As she had spent a lot of her getting away from people,hiding away in her house within the forest. Avoiding the company of corrupted fae/illyrinss. She kept her self away.
The cold chill swept over her, it was all she could do to calm her nerves of the unsettling memories of her past. There were stories to be told deep within her scars that decorated her body. Stories ghat she wouldn't voice. The darkness had been a friend and a foe.
The crisp cold air breezed in through the whole in the mountain. Along with whispers. Making her midnight blue dress and dark brown curly hair flow behind her. Her chocolate brown eyes stared along the landscape.
Velaris was beautiful. But she didn't belong to be here. To be in such a beautiful place.
Doubts started creeping in. The emotions crashing like a wave. This time she let them in. She wanted to feel the pain even more. Reminding herself why she couldn't be here. Seeing him with her. The pain she felt when she first saw him. The smile he casts at elain or when they touch. The life he shares with others without her. The family that is already full and didn't need someone else to join and throw the balance. What she even thinking. Joining the night court ? The inner circle. She was nothing.
The memories of her past flooded her. She needed to take her mind to a different place. Make her feel less on what's around her. And focus on what's in her. She wanted to be cold. She wanted to feel pain. She wanted the darkness. The memories rose up crashing into her core like a tsunami.
She sank to her knees. As she felt each scar. Each story. Each torture. Then she felt them. Felt them like she had a few times before. Stroking her skin. Soothing her while her heart bled. She felt them swirling around her. Supporting her. The darkness grew thicker and larger. Taking away the view and the ledge window. The whispers grew louder but she didn't want to listen. Tears sliding down her face as she grabbed onto her fore arm too hard, Causing her skin to tear and bleed out. Like a faded dream something took over her, she slowly stood up in the dark abyss she was surrounded by. And walked a few steps. Enchanted by a beautifully cruel voice. A voice that hurt. A voice that took her back. Way back. His voice. The voice of the abuse. She moved closer, closer to the pain. The shadows moving around faster and hostile. Trying to stop her from going but she pushed passed and kept going. Flash backs between her memories and the presented startled her. Confusing her on what was real and what was now. Moving along, something forming in the distance. But it was too late, Her heart stopped as she fell ...
The abyss disappears as she free falls off the window ledge. They're were so High up. Tears sliding up her face and she realises this maybe the end. The shadows wisp around her but she doesn't grab on to them. Wanting to accept her fate. Wanting to leave. Her mate didn't recognise her. He wanted to be with another. The rare blessing of having a mate. The new family that didn't need her. The love she could've had. But She didn't deserve it. She was a nobody. Broken and a mess. No one wants someone who is ruined. She wasn't worth it. Not worth the fight. Not worth anything. She said a silent prayer and closed her eyes and embraced the darkness again.
The wind that was whipping her hair back suddenly stopped and she slammed into the ground. She opened her eyes and saw she was back in the room. A few meters away from the windows ledge and shadows covering.
" I did it again ,didn't I" she whispered to herself. The shadows whispered back. She put her head down and curled her self in her knees. " I just want to go".
The rooms atmosphere shifted and she felt something.
" Go away " she said into her knees. " I want to be left alone" she muttered to herself. The presence grew stronger and stronger. Her heart dropped when she lifted her head up and met the beautiful hazel eyes that belonged to The Shadow Singer.
