mine

Part 1.

Driving never seemed peaceful when I was younger. The long boring car rides. The trips to the grocery store. The "get in the car, we're going to your grandparents" and the trips to the lake didn't seem likeable. Now, all I want to do is drive. Run away. Drive to the lakes. Drive to the grocery store just to buy a snickers. Maybe that would solve my problems. Maybe if my 14 year old self looked at me now they would probably think Im out of my head, crazy, different than what I wanted to be when I was 14. Now I don't give a fuck. I have my own problems to solve, and figure out what I'm gonna do.

Remember when you were a kid and you would play with that random kid at the beach and then when your parents would tell you to hurry up and say goodbye you would be upset because you didn't want to leave? That person that stayed with you, playing in the sand, running up and down, trying to find treasure, or a crab? well those are the only people who matter. They stayed with you for those 6 hours you were at the beach. Maybe if we were older and have gotten there phone number. But then again if we were older we wouldn't even had thought of going up to that person and played with them. We would've been embarrassed in the bathing suit we were wearing or the swimming shorts our mom made us wear. Sometimes I don't understand when I have the time to even think about such things. But then again, I have too many thoughts going around in my head.

Work was boring today. Waiting on ignorant people in a small town. The same thing each week for 6 days. And every week a new pay-check to pay for the bills and the grocery's for one. It didn't bother me though, I was glad I was the only person. I was glad I was the only one, I liked being alone. Who in there right mind says they like to be alone? I've been alone. My whole life. 7 years of having no support. No one to comfort me when I was upset because someone was bullying me. No one to confide in, to trust. It wasn't like that for me. All of my friends had it easy. Two parents, lovely brothers and sisters, a dog, a house, a underground pool with a swirly slide, and all the new electronics and toys. But it didn't make a difference to me. Because at least I had myself and that was all I needed. My dad left when I was 10 leaving me with my mom. She died when I was 12 leaving me alone with my only aunt. She and her husband weren't stable. Drunks and plenty of money. Now that I graduated almost 6 months ago. I was free. free of all parents and guardians. done with that and now into the life of paying bills and thinking about what I'm making for dinner.

The thought of love sounded disgusting. I've never loved a person. Of course there were the cute high school crush's but never so intense I loved them. Plus they didn't care about me. I'm not planing about loving anyone, anytime soon (haha she thought)

The next morning was filled with alarm clock noises and the vibration of my phone. I look to see if I had some notifications. I finally get up and head to the bathroom. I tap Spotify and start playing the playlist or songs of the week(made personally by me). I brush my teeth and make sure I gargle the mouth wash. I mouth the words to "18" by anarbor.

"If long hair and tattoos are what attract you
Baby, then you're in luck
And I know it's just a phase
You're not in love with me"

God that's such a good song. I had the widest range of music genre. I knew from the 50's 60's 70's 80's 90's 2000's and 2010's. So, warning. DO. NOT. CHALLENGE. ME. AT. A. MUSIC. COMPETITION. I absolutely LOVE music. it's my only source of comfort.

I got ready for another day at work. I was surprised at how tolerate I was of the people who walked in and out. I was obviously a waitress at small diner. Rarely meeting anyone I didn't or already knew. It was a small town in a small world.

On the car ride I felt off. I created a mental checklist of everything I turned off and did and made sure I did when I got home. I brushed it off and walked inside.

"Great to see you mi." My boss greeted me. He was a sweet old man who made everything better when you talked to him. He was a veteran for world war ll, so I respected him very much. I liked hearing his stories and his little memories he shared with me. I loved his wife as well, they were like my long lost grandparents who I could depend on.

"Nice to see you to Doug" I greeted back.

I took my notepad out and started brewing the coffee and organised behind the counter. Doug had a juke box in the left corner of the diner so I went over and played Fleetwood mac. Something me and him both enjoyed. It was only us for a bit until 11. Then I got to work for the hours, pouring coffee, filling out orders, giving checks, and placing food on tables. It was around 6 when I got my break. I asked our chef, Stephan, to cook some pancakes while I poured a cup of coffee for myself. There was only 4 people here today. Monday's weren't as busy as Thursday and Friday. But Sarah, Stephan, me, Doug, and Paul worked today. Stephan handed me the pancakes and I grabbed my phone and sat in the back scrolling through Pinterest. Stephan was a good cook. He wasn't the best. But it was good enough for me. I washed my plate and cup and payed the small amount. It was 8 at night when a new customer came inside the diner. He looked different. Curls that stuck out but looked ever so neatly combed. Black tight jeans that hugged his legs and a "Ramones" shirt with the tour dates on the back. He had worn out brown Chelsea boots and his ring clad fingers brushed out his hair every minute or so as he got the fallen curl out of his eyes. Out of the ordinary. He sat in the way back next to the juke box. I had changed songs all day like I usually do. I just finished putting on "hotel California" by the Eagles when he walked in. I walked over to the strange man.

"Hello, sir." I greeted him. I caught his eyes. Gorgeous. To put the cherry on top. Dark green eyes with a black pupil and the prettiest eyelashes a girl could ever desire. He stared for a second and I did to.

"What can get you to drink?"

"Can i have a water please?" He said. he's British. He's from the u.k. What the hell? Why is he here? Out of any OTHER place? He must have noticed my shock and sent me a look. I couldn't tell but it was a look as though he knew what I was thinking

With that small, but crazy exchange of words, and looks. I left to get him a drink. I felt his eyes on me as I walked to the drink machine and stretched up to reach the blue , tough plastic cups. I filled it with ice and water and brought it back to him.

"Here you go. Are you ready to order?" I asked.

"Thanks. Can I have 2 hash browns with some scrambled eggs and sausage?" He said. His voice low and deep. As I took the menu from him I left to give Stephan the order. I went back over to another table a little bit close to his spot but still far. I got there order and by the time I was finished I got back to his spot. I have him his food as he said a low thank you and ate. After 10 minutes he was done and I went back over to his table.

I took the plate from him and the cup. As I started to walk away I felt a hand on my wrist. I whipped around to see him looking at me.

"Do you mind bringing me a cup of black coffee?" The man asked me.

"Y- yea it's no problem" I said chocked up. I mentally glared at myself and turned away.

He had an effect on me. I don't know what was wrong but he just made me feel un explainable. Something about him was different. Different than any of them men that I knew. He was different than any man.

I brought him his coffee and the check and walked off.  After a few minutes I walked over and grabbed the check and gave him his change. He sat there for a few minutes and then gathered his belongings and left. He seemed upset or on edge about something. He was hard to read. But he was none of my business so I grabbed my things and said my dews to doug and the rest of my co-workers.