Addicted to a Losing Game

Chapter 1

It still doesn't quite seem real that I am getting married today, considering how quickly we got this all organised. I stare at my reflection and smile. The hair stylist Nat hired has worked wonders on my hair. I let Nat take control of a lot of the planning for today and she outdid herself. The tousled updo is something I probably wouldn't have thought of, but it looks beautiful, with loose, wispy face-framing pieces at the front to tie the look together. The makeup artist was a sweetheart too, talking me through the look she had gone for and the subtle nude colours she had chosen, as she knew I couldn't see them for myself. I take one last glance at myself before turning around to face Nat.

"You look absolutely beautiful," She says, smiling at me.

"Thank you, so do you." And I mean it, she looks absolutely stunning in the floor-length gown we chose. She glances over at me, opens her mouth and then closes it again. I give her a questioning look, knowing she wants to say something.

"Are you sure you want to marry Steve?" She asks me, a serious look in her eyes. I'm not offended by the question, I know why she asks it. Steve and I didn't see the colours when we met, we haven't seen them in the almost year we have been together. It is rare soulmates meet and don't see the colours straight away but it has happened. Some people never see them, never meet their soulmate–whatever that actually means. All I know is that I love Steve, and I've spent every day since we met being endlessly grateful he came into my life. I am not sure I could meet someone more honest, noble, brave and loving.

"Of course, maybe the colours will show, eventually." I'm not sure I believe that though. It doesn't feel like I need to see colour, to have some pre-determined soulmate. I love Steve, can't imagine there being a person out there who would make me happier than he does. Every single day we wake up and choose each other, that's enough for me. "But even if they don't, I'm sure of him, of us."

"Fine, I trust you." She smiles at me and holds out her arm. It is only now that I start to feel nervous, not about marrying Steve but the ceremony itself. The fact I'm going to have to walk out into a crowded room, all eyes on me, makes me feel a little sick. I can do this, I just need to focus on Steve and that will get me through it. Nat is doing the honour of walking me down the aisle. If I can't have my father with me for this then I am glad it is her. I feel bad for Steve, it seems his Best Man won't be able to make it for the ceremony today. I've heard endless stories about his best friend Bucky but haven't met him yet. Fury has kept him far too busy the last year.

"Well come on then," Nat smiles over at me and holds out her arm, "We better not keep Rogers waiting too long."

I grab her arm and we make our way out of the door and down the winding staircase and we wait outside the doors to the stunning ballroom where the ceremony will take place. We wait until the band begins playing and then the doors are opened; I grip on to Nat tightly as we begin the walk down the aisle.

I don't focus on any of the faces currently trained on me, instead I immediately look for Steve at the end of the aisle. His back is to me still, but he slowly turns. His eyes meet mine and the biggest smile breaks out on his face. I see him tearing up, but I can see him fighting the tears because I warned him if he cried then I would and I didn't want to be a blubbering mess in front of everyone. He puts his arm out and I put my hand in his as I reach him at the top of the aisle.

"You look absolutely beautiful." He whispers.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Rogers." He laughs at that and then we both look towards the officiant. If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be here right now, I wouldn't have believed them. The ceremony starts and before I know it the officiant is pronouncing us man and wife and telling Steve to kiss his bride. He lovingly grabs my face and pulls my lips to his, the biggest grin on his face.