Love yourself

1

I quickly looked up, hastily shoving my diary/journal under the pillow as the door swung open. Both BamBam and Mark entered, their gazes fixing on me as they exchanged glances before settling down on the bed they shared. Rolling onto my side, I couldn't help but release a weary sigh. The truth was, none of us really talked to each other anymore. God might have known why we had grown so distant, but I certainly didn't. In the meantime, I could feel their murmurs and the weight of their stares burning holes in my back. I closed my eyes, desperately trying to catch a few extra minutes of sleep before our next performance.

"Jackson!"

My name echoed from somewhere deep within my dreams. Slowly, I raised my arms above my head and yawned quietly, blinking as I took in the glittering room around me. The warm rays of the sun danced across every surface, casting a gentle glow that I couldn't help but adore. Birds outside my open window chirped merrily, their song interrupted only by the cool breeze brushing against my face. I rubbed my eyes with my hand to banish the last vestiges of sleep.

"Wake up!" Suddenly, the room lost its luster, and the bird songs ceased. It was foolish of me to think life was always this dazzling. I groaned, shifting my gaze to my old clock, which stubbornly read 5 AM. I grumbled as I stood up, moving sluggishly toward my closet, where nothing of importance awaited me but clothes. I was nearly dressed when my sister's voice called out again. Why on earth were they waking me up at this ungodly hour? And of all people, it had to be Mark Hyung. He was the worst of the bunch. They all had their moments, but JB ad and Mark made a habit of stealing my stuff—not borrowing, stealing—and the worst part was when they took my diary/journal, read it, and then either threw it away or used it to mock me.

If I could, I'd have rolled over to my other side, but I was already navigating the stuffy corridors of the hotel we'd called home for the past few months. I halted in front of a small picture frame hanging empty on the wall. They'd taken the picture of Jinyoung and me and left it like this. My brow furrowed, and I bit the inside of my cheek, my heart constricting a little. Why did they do that? Had something happened?

"Jackson." Mark's voice startled me, and I tore my gaze away from the frame. "Quit staring at that thing. It'd look better with a picture of you and me." I frowned and bit my lip, Mark's words a blatant lie. The picture of Jinyoung and me had looked amazing, and shouldn't be hanging here. He was just jealous, I think. Giving Mark a little shove, I snatched the picture off the wall and went back to the room. Why would I want to have breakfast with someone as annoying as him? It's not like the others would care about my absence, either. After all, they all found me annoying. Well, everyone except Jinyoung.

None of the other members were smart enough to figure out that we've been secretly married for the past three years. We'd dated for two years before that, and we'd been together for a total of five years as lovers. Our little secret, hidden beneath the surface of our complicated group dynamics.