Win or lose /Bangchan

Epilogue

Jieun closed her eyes tightly as tears ran down her face.She tightly held onto the hand of her mother, who could only imagine in what kind of pain her daughter was in.

It had been a few weeks since the death of her lover.Jieun couldn't bare to stay in the country any longer.Her mother decided to book a flight to New Zealand, but Jieun didn't even comprehend fully.
She wasn't receptive at all.

All she'd been doing these past weeks was hide in her room and cry, until no tears were left,until she broke together on the floor feeling the numbness spread darkly in her chest.

She knew losing a person that meant so much to you hurt.But never she imagined that it could cause this much pain,to the point where one cannot feel air entering the lungs anymore,to the point where you feel stuck and everything seems pointless.She never felt this helplessness before.

The way the blood streamed out of his wounds.
The way she watched him taking his last breath.
The way she witnessed him trying to delay his fate.

Jieun didn't know how to deal with the void and emptiness in her.He left such a big hole in heart, she doubted that it was possible to ever heal.
Deprived of hope,joy and peace Jieun was ready to give up.

'How can I continue on living?Should I end this misery?'
This question she never asked herself before, now was the question she asked herself everyday.

And it hurt.

Not only her but her mother and her sister.
They wanted to help,they wanted to take her pain away, but it wasn't possible.
Mrs Choi cried every day for her daughter,praying to God that he would help her, that she could start new.
She wanted their family to start a new life, happily and filled with peace.

And this is what Mrs Choi wanted to achieve by leaving and settling somewhere else.
It was her idea, and to her surprise Jieun agreed.There was a spark of hope in the eyes of Mrs Choi, if her daughter was agreeing to change the surroundings, maybe that meant there was still a will for her to forget and heal.

Sadly she wasn't aware of how Jieun was ready to leave this earth.Hope for a fulfilled life didn't exist, the only escape was to leave.

"Jieun love, do you want to eat your favourite soup that I made for you?"

Mrs Choi came into her room with a small smile, which was washed away as she realised her daughter had been crying again.

Jieun wiped her tears and stood up from her bed.Mrs Choi gulped as she saw the empty and hopeless eyes that looked straight into hers for a short second.

"Yes,of course."The girl smiled a little, and Mrs Choi could've jumped around the room because of the joy she was feeling.

This is the first meal Jieun agreed to eat since weeks.

"Oh my love,I'm so glad."
Mrs Choi hugged her daughter, one small tear of happiness left her eye.

'Maybe this is the start of healing.'
She thought.

At the table Jieun ate the soup in silence.Her sister and mom were having a quiet situation.

"Does it taste good?"Asked Mrs Choi with expectation.

"Yes,very good mom."
Jieun was relieved to see her mother smile brightly, but it wasn't the truth, the soup she once loved so much didn't have any taste anymore.It tasted like nothing,

She felt sorry to make her mom think, she was getting better when in reality she was getting closer to edge of life.

"Jieun, would you like to go outside with me?The weather is so good,let's go to a park!"
Chaeyoung didn't think her sister would agree but to her surprise, she only nodded.