Hellish Candy (Helluva Boss Fanfic)

Alcopop

"Look at that stupid little moth thing. Look. It's passing out drugs like they're balloons again." Blitzo clenched his fist as if he were looking at an arch nemesis, the other hand holding open the blinders.

Moxxie stopped trying to change the light bulb just to reply.

"I'm pretty sure that that 'moth thing' has a gender and a conscience..." He responded, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, if you're businessing in front of my business I'm taking all of your gender AND all your consciousness!" The taller demon yelled. "The hell does it think it is, intruding on my property!"

"The sidewalk is not our property." Moxxie corrected him. "Besides, what've you got against them? They're bringing potential clients near us, aren't they?"

"Hey, I did not get this office in this place just to have the area's market value drop like crazy cause of all of this drug peddling!"

"That was surprisingly wordy." Moxxie muttered under his breath. "Is any area in hell really 'safe?'"

"I at least want our clients to be alive for long enough to pay us!" Blitzo retorted. He pulled his hand away from the blinds.

Moxxie rolled his yellow eyes, refocusing on getting the light bulb switched. Third one this week...
He blinked against the sudden harsh light as it clicked into place, and grinned  happily.

The moment of joy was short-lived however.

"Moxxie, you better get down there and shoo that moth away right now. It's scaring all the clients away!" Blitzo demanded.

"What clients? It's Sunday." - "EXACTLY!"

"And why me? You're bothered by them. I don't mind them being there." The white-haired demon replied.

"I am your BOSS!" Blitzo huffed.

"Shooing little bugs away from the sidewalk wasn't really in my job description." Moxxie looked down at the broken lamp. The little wire inside had completely broken.

"Fine! I'll do it! But only because I know you'd be way too nice and would shit yourself from awkwardness if it offered you any!"

"Any?" - "DRUGS!"

Blitzo started stomping out to go confront the moth demon outside.

"Take the lamp with you!" Moxxie called.

"I will! As a weapon!" Blitzo shouted, yanking the broken light bulb from his hands. The glass broke from just how violently he gripped it. "FUCK! This is a GOOD WEAPON!"

Blitzo slammed the door shut, leaving Moxxie alone in the office.
Millie was just in the other room with Loona, he figured he could spare them the sight of Blitzo about to beat up some person standing on the sidewalk.

...but it wouldn't hurt to watch himself.
Who knows. Maybe this moth thing was actually secretly dangerous.

As Blitzo exited the building, he very angrily opened the entrance door, and then slowly closed it. He didn't want to pay for it again.

The moth demon peaked out from behind the small bench they sat on, only their head and hands visible.
It looked weirdly small, like an imp, but they clearly weren't one. The hell was this thing?
They looked up when they saw him approach with wide steps, their little antennas popping up, alerted.
Apparently they did not get the memo that this demon was angry though, choosing to smile.
Or they did and were playing innocent.

"Alright, listen here, sticks for ears, you and I both know that this street isn't for you!" Blitzo started. "This little drug bench business of yours is attracting way too many crazed weirdos who'll stab my clients before they can even walk through my front door, do you understand that?"

They looked confused.
"Stab?" They asked.

Their voice was a little higher than Blitzo had expected.
...maybe this was a kid?

Oh, no, nevermind, they just stood up straight, and damn. That back had some jugs to carry!

"...yes! Stab! Some imps get all," Blitzo wiggled his finger/claw around the side of his head, "...you know!"

"...oh." They were processing. "OH!"
The demon or whatever it was snickered. "I'm not passing out drugs! Here!"
The demon held out a piece of candy to Blitzo.

"Sorry, but I have enough IQ to know not to take candy from strangers." Blitzo scoffed.
Even if that lollipop was looking mighty delicious.

"There's no glass in it if that's what you mean." The demon just put the lolli in their own mouth. Tiny mouth there. "It's an alcopop. You get drunk but can still pretend you're not an alcoholic."

"That strong, huh?" Blitzo raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but what kind of demon is that prideful that they are afraid to 'get drunk', huh?"

"I dunno. It's certainly easier to carry candy than a bottle."  They pulled out the lollipop. "Plus, some prefer sugar over alcohol taste."

"...so you just... to get drunk?"
"...to get loose. Tipsy. Smooth. You know?" The moth demon replied.

Blitzo cringed. "Well, that's all fine and dandy but that does not change the fact you're still..." he waved his hand, trying to find rhe right words, "...existing near my business."

"Too bad, so sad." They replied. They pulled out another candy. "I'm advertising for the candy shop here. Lotsa traffic you guys get here."
They turnt their head to the office building. "Might make a nice spot for a bigger shop."

"Hey, watch it, shorty-" Blitzo was interrupted by getting the candy shoved in his mouth.
He took it back out. "I'd kill you if this didn't taste so good."

"I know, right?" The moth demon chuckled. "You can have it. Free of charge and glass."

"Fine. Now scram. Better not be here tomorrow." Blitzo growled.

"Alright, alright, I'll fuck off." The demon adjusted their shirt, and big, poofy wings popped out. "Name is Kezia by the way. Or Kezi."
She flapped her wings a few times- oddly clumsily, as if she was using them for the first time.
"...forgot how quick these work." She muttered. "If you liked the sample, I sure hope you'll come visit our shop at-"

"Yeah yeah fuck off already." Blitzo interrupted her.

She snickered, and gave a wave.
...then reallt awkwardly flew away.

Blitzo scoffed. "...well, she better not c... come back." He coughed. "This thing really IS strong..."