It's 1:36am, I'm driving on the highway. I've been driving for about 6 hours. It felt like the thousandth time driving alone on the highway, because I never stay in one place. I usually find a place to stay for the night and I'm gone the next morning, I do this because I never feel safe anywhere, I feel like I'm always being watched. I don't think I will ever find a home that I feel safe in anymore. I just feel so alone, but that's my fault and it's for the best.
I kept on driving and thinking about why all this has happened to me. And about 30 minutes later I found a small motel, I wondered if anyone actually stayed here at all, because it looked old and just gross. But I decided to stay here for the night because the closest town was 4 more hours away and I was really tired and cold.
Before I went to go check in at the front desk I went to go park my car right in front of the motel and when I went to the front desk to get a room key, I saw a creepy looking man behind the front desk. He was a big man, he wore a black jacket, almost like a suit jacket (or whatever you want to call it). He had a small moustache and long hair, he also looked like a body guard, he looked strong too, he could probably throw me out the window with one arm.
I didn't want that to happen so I just went to go ask for a key and paid him and went straight to my room. But before I left the front desk, I looked over at him before I walked out and he gave me a small grin, as if he were up to something, that creeped me out.
I grabbed my suitcase and I walked around outside fast, I was trying to look for my room, the guy at the desk gave me the key for room 19, but I couldn't find it. The feeling that I'm being watched came back again, I hated this, I just want to go to my room and lock the door and sleep. I feel so scared, I really wish my brother was here with me. I better get to my room before I start crying again.
I found my room, I got out my keys from my butt pocket, but I dropped them on the floor, ugh why am I so clumsy?
I quickly picked up the key, put it in the keyhole and then turned the knob. I quickly went inside and locked the door and looked out the window to check if anyone was following me, luckily no one was outside, I let out a breath of relief.
I sat down on the bed and started tearing up. I put my hands over my face and I started crying.
I really need my brother right now, I need him to tell me everything will be okay, I need him here to just hold me.
I started feeling lonely again, but I still felt like I was being watched. I just need to sleep now, that's all I want to do right now, I need to rest and forget about the world for awhile.
I grabbed my pyjamas from my suitcase and I changed into them. Then jumped into bed and attempted to fall asleep, but I didn't. I just laid down there on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, I couldn't fall asleep, I
Just laid there thinking about how everything started.
* * *
I finally fell asleep after about 40 minutes, and I woke up around 10:30. I needed to check out before 11:30, but I was still tired and lazy, so I didn't get out of bed yet, I just thought about last night and that creepy guy. And then I started thinking about my brother, where had he went? Was he kidnapped? Did he just run away from me? I needed these answers, and I need to know why. And I also need him right here, to make me feel safe again.
After 15 minutes of just laying down on the bed (which was really uncomfortable, but fortunately I had lots of blankets I could snuggle with) and thinking about my brother and a bit of crying, I finally managed to get out of bed.
I went over to my suitcase to get my clothes and pulled out some black leggings, a white t-shirt, underwear and a bra. And I jumped into the shower. While I was in the shower, I started singing "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran, I loved that song and I loved singing in the shower (although I wasn't very good). Also, I heard somewhere online that singing in the shower can help boost your mood and reduce stress, and I really needed that right now.
