Kill and Make Up

Chapter 3 - Eleanor

I'm crying. Sobbing, really. I thought I was okay now. I thought I was healing after Brad's murder. If I was, the funeral had just cut the wound open again. The only thing vaguely holding me together at this point was Alex.

I thought my parents couldn't hurt me anymore. I was wrong.

"Sorry, family only," they said. I had organized the damn thing! I was his sister, whether they chose to recognize it or not. I deserved to say goodbye.

They decided that I didn't.

"Hey," I choke out. Alex is driving seeing as I'm in no condition to do that right now.

"Hm?" She's been silent most of the drive, just taking my hand at the stoplights. Her simple response wasn't out of disinterest, she just seems to be concentrating.

"Could we stop by a pizza place? This seems like pizza time," I sniffle. She's already done so much for me, and I can't help but feel guilty for asking more. But I feel so miserable that I can't help it. Baked cheese makes everything better.

"I think I have a better idea. You like lasagna, yes?" I nod, "Excellent. I have a great lasagna recipe I bought all of the ingredients for recently. How about we go to my place and I'll get that made. Then we can watch a movie or something."

"That'd be nice. Thanks," I wipe my eyes and stare out of the window. I try to get my brain to focus on the upcoming... date?... with Alex. But "Family only" keeps ringing in my ears. I feel bad about not crying more, but I just don't feel like I have any more tears to give. Not to them.

"I hope you don't mind cats," Alex announces as she unlocks her apartment door. Immediately, a golden-orange tabby runs up to her and rubs its head on her shoes.

"I love cats."

"Awesome, Biscuit is pretty friendly, so feel free to pick her up if you want," Alex is already in what I presume to be the kitchen. I scoop up the cat, Biscuit, and follow her.

"Do you need any help with anything?"

"Nah, you can just vibe here for now if you want," She's already pulled up the recipe in a notebook and is starting to take out a pot for the pasta. Biscuit starts squirming so I let her go, but instead of running off she just adjusts herself and settles on my lap

"So... you're a cat person?" I ask. Silence isn't comfortable, regardless of who it's with.

"Yeah, you too?"

"Sort of, I'm an 'animal person'. I like all fluffy animals. Birds, cats, dogs, hamsters, rats," I stop listing and realize I might be there forever if I continue listing all fluffy domesticated animals.

"Nice, but not a fan of reptiles?" Alex has put the pasta on the stove and is figuring out some of the other ingredients now.

"Nah, I like huggable animals." She voices her agreement on this and we just into a comfortable conversation.

"Hey, lasagna is ready," Alex shakes me awake gently. I must've fallen asleep at some point, which makes sense since I didn't sleep very well in anticipation of the funeral.

"Oh... uhm, yeah, just a sec," I mumble and get up, following Alex blindly to what seems to be the living room. Oh, right, she'd promised a movie.

"What do you want to watch?" Alex asks after handing me my plate. I remain standing, still trying to get my thoughts in order after the nap.

"Um..." I blink and shake my head, still trying to think, "Anything not scary, and preferably not an action movie." I already feel like a burden just by being here, I don't want to impose too much by choosing the movie too.

"Hm, let's see then. Harry Potter marathon? Or maybe Lord of The Rings? That one's a bit on the scary and action side though..." Aw, she seems so awkward, it gives me some comfort to know that I'm not the only one feeling... hm, I actually don't know what I'm feeling. But in a good way, I think.

"Lord of The Rings sounds epic," I plop down on the edge of the couch and dig into the lasagna. "Hot, hot, hot, hot!" I should've waited. But the pain is definitely worth it.

"That. Was. The best lasagna I've ever had!" I exclaim once I finished chewing.

"I'm glad, sorry for not warning you that it was gonna be hot," Alex finishes setting up the movie and sits next to me on the couch, not too close to not make it weird and still close enough to still be considered "next to" me.

Despite the day starting absolutely horribly, I'm almost able to forget it, being here, with Alex and awesome lasagna. I feel absolutely content, maybe for the first time in a long while.