the hardest part of ending (is starting again) - Snowbarry April Minibang 2021

the hardest part of ending (is starting again)

A.N. Entry for the 2021 Snowbarry Spot Discord Server's April Minibang. Title and lyrics at the beginning and end from the song "Waiting For The End" by Linkin Park. Inspired by the comics, where Killer Frost is typically a 'heat-vampire' that feeds off the warmth of her victims. Main themes for the story: sacrifice, freedom, remembrance, opposites attract, devotion, slight elements in the ice, snow, frost. The credit for the beautifully haunting graphic above to accompany the story goes to the amazing takeunknownroadnow (https://takeunknownroadnow.tumblr.com/post/650443327260459009/art-for-vampcoffeegyrl23-s-fic-the-hardest-part), seriously can't get over how perfect it is. 

~

This is not the end, this is not the beginning

Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision

Won't you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm

And though the words sound steady

Something empty's within 'em

We say, "Yeah"

With fists flying up in the air

Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there

'Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear

Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear, yeah

~

Caitlin stared out the passenger window, watching the road fly by as the car drove. A million different things ran through her mind, so many things to worry about . . .

"You're awfully quiet over there. Both of you." Carla gripped the steering wheel as she drove. "Feeling okay yet? We can make a stop if you need to. "

"No, we're fine." Caitlin sighed, wincing as she adjusted the patch on her chest. She tugged at the seat belt strap chafing against the wound underneath.

"You can sleep, too. It'll be a bit of a drive yet." Carla told her. They were already days away from Central City at this point, but still far from their destination at another Tanhausser lab.

Frost had started snoring shortly after they'd hit the road and hadn't surfaced much in the last few days, though Caitlin could hear her mumble restlessly every so often as if she were dreaming or worse. Caitlin just couldn't get comfortable, had been on edge since before they'd left. Really she hadn't slept much at all. She couldn't get Barry out of her mind, how defeated and frustrated he'd been. She felt bad leaving when her friends were still missing in the mirrorverse, but she also knew that between herself and her frosty other half, neither of them were in any kind of shape to be anything but a further hindrance.

"Listen to your own advice, Caity," Frost murmured, still half asleep, "We need to get better - everyone back home understands that. Barry understands that, and he wants us to get better too. He looked just as worried about us as he was Iris."

A cold burning sensation swelled under the patch and Caitlin clenched the edge of her seat, blinking back tears. "Honestly, I think I'm too sore to sleep. It's really flared up since we left my apartment."

"Could be all the movement." Carla briefly glanced over at her daughter, who was still fidgeting with the patch under the collar of her shirt.

"Maybe. I just-gah!" Caitlin tensed as the cold tightness in her chest and shoulder radiated down her arm and stomach - up to her head. Her insides rolled, her vision blurred, and her hand rose to cover her mouth.