고립

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she had no one. no one to talk to, no one to share with the little things about life;
all she had was herself, the only one she could rely on after coming this long, long way.

she wasn't even old enough to have seen the half of the world, but her journey felt long enough to get tired of it already.

spending time outside couldn't be more suffocating for her when a bunch of people from her school blankly stared at her wherever they saw her. they whispered mean little nothings to each other until she finally left the spot.

the girl who always sat at the last corner of the classroom was bound to her desk and the only table of the last row in the library for long.

she would stare outside the window sitting in the class when her professors would be giving a lecture, oblivious in her own world of fantasy, the only place where she felt safe.

no one would ever say anything to her.

she was used to ignoring them, ignoring everything. the loud whispers from her classmates or the worried stare of the librarian who watched her everyday. nothing mattered to her at this point.

nonetheless, she couldn't say that she didn't care about anyone either, there were people she couldn't help but care about.
her mom who had a beauty salon, working so hard that she was rarely able to see her. the old granny who ran a small shop beside the river, barely incoming a pennie. the twenty year old single mom in her neighbourhood fighting to live freely in the society; they were indeed the reasons she couldn't kill herself, even though she wanted a thousand times to. she would listen to their stories with patience, comfort them, but would never open up. after all she couldn't believe anyone else except herself, at least not anymore..

she would take a walk every night, where her surroundings seemed as dark as her life. she would drink bottles over bottles of liquor laying in the bathtub, not everyday, but she loved it when she did.

and sometimes.. she craved for someone's love, the warm love which could take away her sadness and wrap her up in safety and happiness. when her eyes became all red and sore from crying, she would yearn for someone's shoulder to lay her head on.

she would be sitting at the rooftop of her department building for hours, where it was easy to forget about everyone and everything.

that was when she met him ,
one day at that rooftop.

• • •


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