Darling...

Unwanted

I was sitting on the kitchen island slowly swinging my legs back and forth. I looked at the time on the big round watch hanging over the sofa. 30 minutes, he was supposed to be home 30 minutes ago. I had made dinner for the two of us, Louis's favorite food. But apparently, I was eating alone again tonight, so twenty minutes later I gave up on waiting. 

I ate alone but put aside a plate for Louis when he got home. I sighed as I sat down on the sofa, it had been like this for almost two weeks straight, "no gay" I thought trying to cheer myself up by thinking of my uncle and best friend Harry. I slightly smiled and ate my food.

An hour, he's an hour late now. I sighed again as I washed my dishes. I sat on the sofa wrapped in a blanket with an old episode of Friends, trying not to fall asleep till he got home. Another hour later I heard the front door open and Louis dragging himself indoor. He put down his bag and jacket and walked through the living room and kitchen. "Hi... There's food for you in the kitchen" I said and stood up, "I already ate" he mumbled and went upstairs to the bedroom, almost slamming the door after himself. That hurt a little, but I pushed the feeling away. And went after him up the stairs.

I slowly opened the door and saw Louis changing out of his black suit from the interview he had been at to sweatpants and a t-shirt. He heard me walking in and said "I'm going to bed" "oh, okay" I mumbled. And changed clothes myself. I quickly looked at the t-shirt Louis used to let/make me sleep in, but decided to sleep in my t-shirt own today. I was feeling really unwanted so I felt weird putting on his shirt. Louis looked at me weirdly but I just crawled into bed and he followed. 

I turned off the lights. I turned around considering trying to hug him, but I was scared he would just push me away like he did the other nights the last two weeks. I could slightly see him in the dark but I turned around and sighed. I felt a little tear fall down my cheek, then I fell asleep.

(Timeskip: next evening)

I had the same evening as yesterday, except that I ate the remainings of the food I had made for Louis yesterday. I had cried a little while eating my dinner tonight. It was really frustrating, but I was also really scared and hurt by it. 

Then I thought to myself "maybe I should take a break, go on some sort of trip, I could visit mother and Harry back home in manchester... Yeah I need that". So I got out my suitcase and packed most of it. Then I went on my computer and found a one-way ticket to manchester in the morning and started packing. I was sitting in the kitchen checking everything I needed off a list I had made and reserving the flight ticket when Louis got home and did the same he did last night. Dragging himself indoors putting down his bag and jacket and walked directly up to the bedroom. I scuffed.

A few seconds later I heard footsteps jogging on the stairs. I look up to see Louis with a worried look on his face rushing down the stairs. I looked back down at my computer, reserving the one-way ticket. I scoot a little away when he sat down beside me. I blinked quickly a couple of times to stop the tears. He runs his hand through his hair "what's up with the suitcase.." he quickly looked at my computer "...and a.. o-one way ticket". He looked up and me, his brows furrowed and his eyes looked at my left and right eye alternately. 

"I.. Uhm... I'm going to manchester.." I said, his eyes widened. "W-what?" he hiccuped, "M-manchester" I mumbled and start putting away my computer. "W-why?" he squeaked, "Why?" I repeated. "Yeah, why? What's up, is something wrong?" he said as his bottom lip started to shake a little. I stood up feeling the tears whelm up in my eyes. "Is something wrong are you serious?" I looked at him in disbelief. "Wha-" he started, fear overtaking his facial expressions. "You didn't think something would be wrong when you treat me like this?" I said trying to stay calm, but I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

Louis furrowed his brow as he stood up, getting closer to me. 

"I sit alone all evening waiting for you to come home, you get home 2 hours later than you promised in the morning. I make your favorite food for dinner in hopes that you'll come home for dinner, 2 hours later you've already eaten. For two weeks straight I've gotten pushed away in every single way you could think of in a relationship. I can't even go out with my friends because there back home in manchester. And where am I huh.. in some god-forsaken part of Scotland for your movie. I didn't move here with you to get pushed away I moved here so I could still spend time with you... God, you make me feel so unwanted". 

I turned around, away from him. "I'm trying my best okay," he said trying to stay calm. "Oh I'm not so sure you are, you dont even text me that you'll be home late. And if this is trying your best I really dont want it!". "What the f**k do you mean you dont want it?" he raised his voice. "I dont wanna sit here alone all day while you're filming and not even giving me a second thought," I said as I turned to him again.

"You've been a complete jerk. I've tried to make this work... I moved to god damn Scotland to try and make this work but you dont seem to give a damn. So, in conclusion, I'm taking a trip back to Manchester for a couple of days. You can call me then and tell me if you're done treating me like this" I said and went upstairs, tears streaming down my face, to get the last couple of things, and decided that would go stay at a hotel till my flight in the morning. 

"Y/N... Please" Louis whispered when he entered the room after me, I turned around regretting it as soon as I saw his face. His eyes were red and his cheeks were covered in tears. I closed my eyes knowing that I looked the same. "Darling, please dont do this" he cried. I shook my head "d-dont darling me.." I whispered. "Just, please dont leave me... I need you" I bit my lip and cried, "you dont... if you did... you would've cared, you would've tried to come home early and spend time with me... just a little I'm gonna be home late text would've done it this past week".

Louis walked in front of me so he stood between me and my suitcase, "please stop" he cried as he tried to get me closer to him. "No, I need to go" I whispered trying to push by him. "No" he cried and I was so drained. So when he pulled me into his arms and cried into my shoulder I couldn't fight him. I broke down in his arms.

"I'm am so sorry" he whispered. I buried my head in his shirt and kept crying. 

"I'm really am so sorry, It has been tough these past weeks. I know I shouldn't take it out on you, I know it's been rough for you too. I'm sorry I pulled you all the way out here and didn't appreciate you more... I love you". I looked up at him, "I love you too" I whispered. "I just wish... I wish you would've talked to me instead of pushing me away" I mumbled and I felt him nod into my hair, "I know... I know". He walked backward so we could sit down on the bed. "Are you still going home?" Louis asked looking away. "Only if you'll go with me", Louis looked back at me "really?". "Yeah... I think you need it too" I said and he smiled "thank you".

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P.S: I don't know if I like this one very much, but hope you did lol. It's inspired by a poem I read in school the other day:)