subside. // haylor au

twenty five

(GUYS LONG TIME NO SEE I'VE BEEN SO BUSY I APOLOGIZE, BUT I'M BACKKK)

Anxiety. It was it for the whole car ride and the whole walk through the airport. The touch of Harry's hand at the small of my back - well that helped but only slightly.  The things he whispered into my ear to keep me calm - that helped too but it was temporary, a few minutes after the words have been said, I think back and get worried again.

I was worried about everything - whether my dad would be alright, whether this was my last day on earth or not, everything felt so surreal and fast that I couldn't keep up with everything all at once. Harry notices from time to time, but he knows that he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I'm a thinker. A hell of a hard one too. And if I think, I get so lost in thought that I forget everything and everyone surrouding me that they turn into my thoughts and all I could see is the shadows and kaleidoscopes of what went through my mind. That's the most hardest thing to control.

I strolled through the airport grounds, my hands gripping a tight hold of Harry's jacket.

"What car?" Harry asks one of the boys.

"That one," Liam points to a range rover and he hurriedly opens the door.

Harry holds the door open for me and I hop in without hesitation. He gets in beside me and gives me a nodding look - as in this is actually going to happen.

The clicking of the GPS makes me even more anxious and I fiddle with my sweaty hands. The cold weather didn't help either.

"Alright, so off to the Hudson company.." Liam's voice trailed off as he focuses on the GPS.

He clicks a button and a robotic voice sounds.

As soon as that happens, Zayn shifts the gear and the car moves. I jolt at the sudden rush of movement and grip my jacket.

The car rushes at such speed that I couldn't even comprehend what we were passing.

"Isn't this past speed limit?" I ask, my mouth shaking from nervousness.

"The police knows who we are," Niall gives me a reassuring smile and I nod, gulping air into my dry throat.

"Your lips are chapped," Harry speaks as he traces his fingers on my lips.

I graze my tongue on the corners of my lip, but after a few seconds, it gets dry again. 

Harry gives me a worried look, but he quickly recovers and his smile doesn't seem to fade away.

"Hey, it's alright, I can still kiss you, I don't mind chapped lips," He laughs and it makes me crack a smile while groans are heard from around the car.

"I knew you guys were dating," Niall says from the front of the car. And I thought about it. Well - we're not officially dating are we? He didn't ask me out? He didn't say anything about being 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' and he surely didn't say anything about being "together" right? 

I shake my thoughts out of my head before it consumed me fully. 

"Since when?" Liam questions, his eyes unlocking itself from the drivers view to look at us.

"That's none of your business and eyes on the road, Payne," Harry rolls his eyes.

"Aw, little Harry is growing up," Louis pretends to wipe a tear and I chuckle.

"Shut up, Louis."

And then the car was silent. The laughter died out and the road became more narrow and the other cars were nowhere to be found. It was just us. The things on the sideroads aren't pavements - they're grass and trees and it was completely dark.