The Last Message

It was 19 years ago or so I remember.
Dyeing the horizon in an orange hue, the sun that day looked like a molten egg yolk. It was ready to melt over the sparkling water and go to the other side of the world.
Another sun has set I thought,
"Another day has passed," my brother said.
He walked past me towards the burbling sea and stood exactly where his ankles were completely dipped in salt water. I couldn't fail to notice how his silhouette against the setting sun resembled that of my father; how he resembled my father.
"You are spacing out Ev"-- he was right. I was again spacing out. I had been doing that a lot lately
"See what I got"-- he said while drawing a champagne bottle towards me. Back in those days the pollution streak wasn't that high so we couldn't consider that bottle as a trash can.
The bottle was so heavily dressed in mosses and ferns that it completely obscured the view inside.
"Where did you get it?" -- I asked
"It surfed through the waves and landed just behind my feet."
I had often read in books that bottles afloat in water waves always carried some long lost messages; messages which were not meant to be read by the world outside. Perhaps this bottle also carried one?
"Open it"-- I could hear the curiosity in his voice. But I was hesitant. What if it really carried a note? And what if the writer of the note didn't want us to read it?
"It will take another two days for the curfew to be over. We practically have nothing else to do. It's just better to see what's inside to kill the time"---George was right. We were literally stranded on that beach for one week. Our Father used to own a hotel there and it was our duty to visit it at least once in a month.But during that visit little did we know that a curfew was going to be declared. My brother and I had nothing else to do other than to sit at the seashore, listen to it's humming sound and stare blankly at the horizon. Now that I say it, it sounds peaceful to me but back in those days my adrenaline rush was much higher than what it is today. So discovering what was inside that bottle was a much better option than to just stroll around.
George tried to snatch the bottle away from my hand but I had a firm grip on it so it became a futile attempt. "Now come on Evelyn don't be a spoiled sport"---He was so like my father. Father had a very curious nature and whenever someone stood between him and his curious subject, he used to regard that person as a 'spoiled sport'. I have a very blurred image of my father in my mind. All that I can clearly remember of him is that one rainy morning I saw him walk away; walk away from the house and from my life.I never hated him, perhaps I was too young to hate him. I simply thought that one day every father has to go. Although I missed those evenings that we spent together playing chess but after a while I got used to his absence. I don't distinctly remember my father, but all these little significance keep him alive in my heart.
"Hey Ev,--"
"Okay fine, let's open it."---I started without letting my brother finish." But promise me you won't tell anyone what's inside it."
A wide, broad grin spread all over his face. He was about to take the bottle from my hand when I repeated firmly,"You promise?" It was then that he realised that I had set a condition.
"Oh yes, I promise"---he replied hurriedly. He was too excited to waste any energy on such weak promises. I pushed him aside and sat on the sand cross-legged. It was evening by then. The moonlight was glistening on the waves. For a moment the sea looked like an ocean of pearls.
I held the bottle and tried uncorking it but I ended up fidgeting with it. After a while seeing my condition, George took it from my hand and simply started unwinding the cork.
"As if it would open that way"---I said incredulously. But as a matter of fact it did open that way and I did receive, 'I am a genius' look from my dear little brother.
"Anyway"-- I rolled my eyes.
The bottle was relatively dry inside but it still had a dank stink. I turned it upside down and yanked. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a small scroll falling from inside on the sand along with something else which glinted but disappeared before I could catch it. George who was standing behind me caught a glimpse of that glinting object and traced it on the sand.
"There Ev"--he pointed somewhere beside my knee. I found it and picked it up. It was a ring. A smooth, round gold ring. No fancy curves or designs engraved upon it. The ring was simple yet elegant and I enclosed it in my palm.George was already scrutinizing the scroll by then. It was just the size of a coffin nail and it smelled like a damp old book. The paper had several faded red spots on it and the scroll was tied with a very thin black thread.
I slowly opened it. It was one thing to read it in books but it was a completely different feel to experience that in real life.
I was about to read it when I realized that it had gotten so dark by then that I was hardly able to make out anything. George hunched over me to see the scroll but even after squinting hard he couldn't read a single word.
We were left with no other option except to return to our hotel. But neither of us wanted to return and we could clearly read that disapproval in each other's face. Returning to the hotel means we would have to face a thousand questions from our mother. Back in those days our mother was always hypertensive. I cannot really blame her cause after our father's departure no one was there to guide her. And when she didn't get word from him even after the war was over, she never allowed us to leave her for long lest we would also never return. But since we were left with no other option we had to return to the hotel.
"Let's go"--- I said.
Although a look of utter disappointment conquered his face, to my relief he didn't throw any tantrums. All he did was nod and redirect his steps towards hotel doors. I started walking after him. The scroll and the ring was crumpled in my fist. While walking back I thought that it was perhaps the last week at the beach. I would miss this place I realized. I've grown so used to its atmosphere. The mild humming of the sea, the smell of salt water and the warm sun all became a part of my life in just a few weeks! Nothing is permanent, not even life, I recalled the words that I had etched in my heart and moved on.
After a few minutes, we were at the door steps of our room. Ours was a cottage lodge, the roofs were covered with straw and thatches outside but it was perfectly cemented inside. The outer appearance was that of a mud house in an Indian village but from inside it was no more than a sophisticated city room.
"Ev, I reckon that we silently sit here and read it first. If Mother even catches a glimpse, be sure it's gone"--- he said in such a serious tone that it made me giggle.
"I know, right?"--- I replied.
I sat down on one of the steps as softly as I could. George did the same
On opening my fist, I saw the crumpled paper lying helplessly on my palm. Now that all the problems were solved, our complete attention was towards that tiny piece of paper. Here we go I sighed. I had to confess that the ghost of the "moral" thought was still hanging around the cape of my neck. Nevertheless, I was determined to see what was inscribed inside.
I read the first line, George was nearly sitting on top of me by then.
The writer had a cursive style. The handwriting was casual and sloppy with long strokes and looped edges here and there. It was not written in a hurry but somehow I had a feeling that it was the last writing of someone.

'Wish I could tell you how beautiful the sky looks today.
All these cotton clouds floating against the pale blue heaven. You remember the college days Mev? The days that we spent together sky-gazing?How desperately I used to search for something behind those clouds. I don't know what I used to search; maybe the world beyond those soft, white patches?

Wish I could tell you how pure the sky looks today.
I really don't recall the last time I saw this bright a day. Ha! How stupid of me? How can I expect bright, happy days on a battlefield. All that I can expect and that I see is dirty earth mixed with blood, tears, echoes of pain, maybe a head or two of our fellow comrades and sacrifice. Sacrifices of several lives to win a futile war. How useless and unworthy humankind is I wonder.

Wish I could tell you how the sky of today resembles the one we saw on our wedding day. I fear to retrospect. I envy the happy kid that lived in my childhood, the kid who was carefree and unconcerned about the future he was going to live. I was a simple person, with a simple dream and a simple life and slowly you became a part of my simple life and turned it into a simple yet beautiful family. How are our children Mev? Wish i could catch even a glimpse of our second child. He/she must be six months of age by now? Whom does he/she look like? Not a single night passes without thinking about them. The 'Madam' of our house must have been a master of chess by now? How is she? I miss those evenings that I spent with her, playing chess and listening to old jazz. I would never read this letter back, you know. Reading this would be like reading a list of regrets and I don't want my whole life to be a regret; well at least not the last few days of my life.

Wish I could tell how limitless the sky looks today, it reminds me that there would be no end.
The war ended last day. We won but what of it? Can that victory ever bring back the souls that we lost. Someone once said that one must rebel for one's existence. But how long will this battle continue? I need an answer, for now I am growing impatient Mev.
Even if the battle outside ended what of the battle inside? It just started. It's eating me up Mev, I can feel it------my cancer is destroying my existence. I fear I'm too weak to fight this time, too unstable to overcome it this time. All I want now is to escape from all the regrets that I have. That is why after the war I didn't return to the camp; I eloped.I ran to escape those regrets. I don't know where I will go but wherever I go I will be free. I have done a terribly selfish deed but I cannot hurt you a second time, I cannot give you temporary happiness and then leave you wretched a second time. I know that right now you will be standing on the station waiting with a hopeful heart and thinking what you will say when I return. I even know that deep down you will not believe for days what my comrades said about my disappearance. I am sorry that I would not be by your side on the nights when your tears would refuse to stop. I am sorry that I'm leaving you to battle the hard part of life alone. But I know that unlike me you would emerge as a victor. You are strong Mev, and you have proved that time and again. Not that I have to tell, but take care of our children. Don't scold them too much if they play after dark, tell them to eat healthy(a mother's dialogue I know) and remind them that their father loved them. And if ever possible please forgive me.Oh Mev, I have become such a spoiled sport.
How heavenly the sky looks today, wish I could tell you.'
"Ev you are going to tear that paper and don't tell me that you are crying?."---George said in a both mocking and concerned tone.
I was clutching it so tight that my nails were about to pierce the soft paper. I felt the wind drying the tears that trickled down my cheeks. My face was sticky and wet. I looked at my brother expecting that he was thinking the same but to my surprise he simply said,
"If I were his wife, I would have forgiven him. It's such a coincidence that Mother's nickname is also Mev, isn't it?"
I nodded and saw him walk away to our room.
"You coming?"---he asked before opening the door.
"After a few minutes"
"Come soon...Mother is going to scold us to death"
"Yes, I know"---I answered.
When I was left alone in silence I felt empty. I didn't know what to feel. I simply stared at the ring. After a few minutes I went to our room. Mother was standing there, as angry as ever, scolding George and then after a while me for being so terribly late. But all that time when she shouted at me I didn't hear a single word for all what I saw was the same ring in her hand that I had seen in the bottle.