shot clock || na jaemin (the court series #1)

quarter four: minute one

"penny for your thoughts?" jisung asks, sitting down on the bench overlooking the pond next to jaemin. jaemin looks at jisung numbly, not even bothering to fake a smile anymore.

"i'd pay you to listen," jaemin says sarcastically. jisung nudges him with his shoulder, looking at him with a concerned expression. i'm listening. 

"i feel stupid, sung-ie. i mean, i'm here, missing a girl that i had dated for a literal month six months after she left me. after i told her to leave. i literally confessed to her when she had met her abuser. our romance was so rushed. it didn't even feel like there was anything leading to the love. it just felt like i loved her so much without any exposition. there was no climbing. it just...happened. and the moment it started to feel real, the moment that i thought that we might actually be dating, she had to go to america," jaemin says, slowly and deliberately. purposefully. jisung pauses at that, leaning back to think about the right thing to say. renjun, chenle, and haechan were sitting a little bit further down, on the ground, watching the beginnings of the setting december sun. 

"you know, that's what i thought too. at least at first i did. but the more i thought about it, the more i realized that it was because we were so busy watching jeno and jisoo, you know? they had it different. jisoo's the same age as jeno, and has a completely different personality and set of priorities. jisoo's gone through different things than sooyoung has, so her worldview is completely different." jisung stops, looking out over the pond, making eye contact with renjun, who gives him a discreet thumbs up, before turning back to jaemin. "but tell me with full confidence that you don't like sooyoung."

jaemin scoffs.

"like her? i fucking love her. that's why i'm so confused. did i just confuse what we had for the illusion of something else?" jaemin says, his confidence dipping lower and lower with every word he said. jisung shrugs, standing up to walk to where the other dreamies were sitting.

"that depends on what you're looking for, jaemin. do you want sooyoung and her love or do you want a relationship like jeno and jisoo's?" jisung says, his voice get softer and softer as he walked away. jaemin doesn't say anything. he doesn't have to. the answer was clear enough.

he wanted her and her love.

jaemin bites his lip, waiting for the person on the other end of the line to pick up.

"minnie!" exclaims an eleven-year old voice, jaemin sighing in relief when he recognizes the voice immediately.

"hey shaun, buddy. i've missed you," jaemin says in english. it had turned out that sooyoung was no longer using her phone, seeing as that her phone proved to be a catalyst for a relapse in her therapy every time she touched it. jaemin hadn't known at the time, phoning her in a moment of weakness on his birthday, only to have mr. park (or james as he insisted on jaemin calling him) pick up the phone and explain the situation. ever since then, he had been frequently talking to shaun and mr. park, just to check up on sooyoung not-so-secretly.