scarletsblade imagines

(11)suicide thoughts

suicide is something that's trending if you ever need someone to talk to i'm always here i have been suicidal for as long as i could remember 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~kyasia pov

suicide.It's been so long since i started being suicidal just know i have been through so much the only people i have is my brother's and my girlfriend scarlet as other people would say scarletsblade

i was just thinking about everything my life the fucked up things in the world jahseh's death and jarad's death.

i decided i would take the noose,pills and cut maybe even the gun.I get up to run to the store to get the rope.About 5 minutes later i get the rope and run to me and scar's room to write a note for them.They were getting food for the house.

At some point i get the noose tied and get my blade out and go to the backyard were there's tree's.I make sure i cut deep enough into my skin with the blade after i hung up the noose on on of our but tree's and i hung it up on a strong high tree branch.

I put the noose around my neck and take the pills,blood running down my arm and all on my shirt just all over.I have to do this quick.

My phone goes off but i don't pay no attention to it i forgot to get the motherfucking chair my dumb ass.

I get the chair and bring it under the noose and step on to it taking more pills.

I get on the stool and take a deep breath "finally i'll be gone.....the world will be better" i say smiling.

I put the noose around my neck again and take another deep breath before slowly tipping the stool over still with a smile on my face coughing up blood.

I tell my brother's and scarlet making them all cry out and hug me tightly "Baby why would you ever wanna do something like that to me,to use?" scarlet asked sobbing "bae calm down alright i love you okay?" i say reassuring her.My brother Corey gets up and goes outside,i go out to"hey bro you okay?" i say making him look at me making me see his red puffy glossy eyes.

"no i'm not fucking okay when were you going to tell me or anyone do you cut?" Corey asked a little loud "i don't know,i don't think i was going to tell you guys and yes i stil-" i say but get cut off by corey bringing me into a big hug "please don't leave us here if you did what you did in your mind we would all do the same we love you way too much to let you go" he say's making me realize what i did.

After a couple of minutes of hugging we go inside.i go into my room and they sit in the living room talking about what happened.

They told me i could come out and we had a talk in the middle scarlet say's,"let's just get to the point and stop buttering her up" making me hella confused.

"what bae you smoking percs or sum what you wanna tell me?" i ask making her glare at me shaking her head.

"Alright so i think we should take you to a mental hospital i mean you already are schizophrenic and more so yeah were going now" scarlet said making me shake my head saying no again and again.

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