Lights up on the stage. We see HARMONY sitting by herself on a chair, with her head resting on a table. There's a pile of papers next to her. Suddenly, LIZ walks in with powerful steps.
LIZ: Top of the fucking morning to you!
HARMONY: Okay, I swear I locked that door.
LIZ: What were you doing?
HARMONY: Homework.
LIZ: Not anymore! (They take the papers and throw them all over the stage.)
HARMONY: I'm running out of paper, Liz!
LIZ: Oh, wow. What's got you all angry at the world?
HARMONY: Homework.
LIZ: Fuck the U.S. school system!
HARMONY: We live in England.
LIZ: I would never pass up an opportunity to make fun of them, my dear.
HARMONY: So, what do you need?
LIZ: To scream.
HARMONY: Please don't.
LIZ: But it's frustrating.
HARMONY: What is?
LIZ: I've even called Sven and Bee. They'll be here any minute.
HARMONY: Oh, excuse me. Would you like some snacks?
LIZ: Would you take some out?
HARMONY: No. Why do we keep meeting at my house?
LIZ: It's the most comfortable. And you've got good food and a cat. So.
HARMONY: Sure. Can you tell me what's wrong?
LIZ: No! This needs to be shared with everyone at the same time. Come on. Come on!
They hear three slow and heavy knocks.
HARMONY: Come in.
LIZ: Kick the door down if necessary.
BEE and SVEN come in, one behind the other, looking surprised.
BEE: Wow, okay.
SVEN: What is it this time?
HARMONY: This time?
SVEN: Yeah. They called us last week with the same energy about something of "too much importance."
HARMONY: What was it?
BEE: Sven?
SVEN: I don't remember. Something about "utter disappointment in reality."
HARMONY: It does sound like Liz.
BEE: I know. Annoying.
LIZ: Everybody shut up!
Everyone falls silent for five seconds.
LIZ: Why aren't you talking?
BEE: Oh, for fuck's sake. Can I leave? Sven, let's go.
SVEN: If it's nothing, yes. It's cold and I've got some business to take care of.
HARMONY: Not going to ask.
LIZ: Wait.
HARMONY: Liz, come on. You already yell every other day. We didn't have to be here. Except me, because, again, this is my house.
LIZ: I'm going to say it, so everybody, listen.
BEE: You've got five seconds to catch my attention.
SVEN: Bonus points if you use something that sparkles.
LIZ: Ok. So. What happened was.
HARMONY: Yeah?
LIZ: Drumroll first.
BEE: Fucking go!
LIZ: A character in my favourite show just died!
Everything goes silent for five seconds. Everyone looks at LIZ with astonished faces.
BEE: No. Nope.
HARMONY: Really?
SVEN: Come on. Sometimes shows are important.
BEE: Don't you start too.
SVEN: I'm being nice.
BEE: Don't.
HARMONY: And what about it?
LIZ: What about it? The death scene was horrible.
SVEN: Was there blood?
LIZ: He fell from a balcony.
BEE: Why don't you do the same?
HARMONY: Well, it's fairly regular. It's too gore. Was it mainstream?
LIZ: Yes.
HARMONY: Then of course it is mild. There's families watching those.
BEE: I'm trying to calm down.
SVEN: You're doing great.
BEE: But I'm about to ask you (He points to LIZ.) something. Harmony, hide anything fragile, because I might break it.
HARMONY: You still owe me for the tea set.
SVEN: He doesn't even have enough for breakfast.
BEE: Wow, the betrayal.
SVEN: If you rob a bank, I'll help you.
LIZ: Ask away. Let's see you try it without sounding like a squeaky toy, Mr. Puberty.
BEE: It's just a death scene. Did you have to make us come here just for this? Really? Fucking really?
LIZ: It was too "cliché." I hate those.
SVEN: I second that.
HARMONY: I'll just agree with them. It's tiring if I don't.
BEE: You don't watch TV.
HARMONY: Whatever.
BEE: We are not doing this.
LIZ: Yes, we are. Sit down.
BEE: No. For once, I'm leaving.
LIZ: You hate me that much?
BEE: We are not wasting our time on this. Fuck it. Nope. Sven, we're leaving.
SVEN: Well, this was nice. I wish I'd come in pajamas.
BEE: See you at school. And do not call me tonight to bother me again.
LIZ: (Whispering.) Sven, can I call you? I really want to explain it to someone!
SVEN: (Whispering.) Sure. I'll just throw a sleeping pill in his drink.
LIZ: (Whispering.) Perfect.
BEE and SVEN leave to the left.
LIZ: Harmony.
HARMONY: What?
LIZ: Love. Please?
HARMONY: Get out.
LIZ leaves to the left.
HARMONY: I'm going to go and cry in a corner.
Lights down.
YOU ARE READING
A kid's curiosity
Non-FictionThis is not a masterpiece. This is conversation. And what you talk about with your friends and don't tell your parents. It's nothing else than a human mind. Week-day afternoons turned into storms of nonsense, insults, stupid one-liners and teenagers...
