She brings Chaos

Chapter 1

They say things get harder before they
get better, that something good will come
of all the bad thats going on. For me,
Nothing good has come from the bad
that has surrounded me. The only good
thing in my life is currently sick with
lung Cancer and going through treatment
after treatment. Everyday I fear I'm going
to lose my mom and everyday She's still
here is one more day I have with her. "Hi mom, how are you feeling ?" I walk into
my mothers hospital room and sat down
by her side." Oh you know, the Same, but a
little better since you're here." I reach for her hand
and give her a small smile, The cold and
Skinny feeling of her hand didn't go
unnoticed. It was something I noticed
every time I came to visit her and I
held her hand. "So what did Dr. Martin
Say?" Her doctor had come by to talk
about her treatments she's been getting.
I mentally cross my fingers hoping for
good news. " Oh the usual. more treatments
to do " She was lying. I could tell by the
way She moved her hand from mine and looked away. "You're lying. What did he really say?" She looks at me and I instantly feel like whatever it was, wasn't good. "He said....I'm unresponsive and the treatments and the medicines aren't working anymore." And just like that, my heart broke and I fought back the urge to cry. To stay strong for her. I grabbed her hand and smiled sadly, "I'm sure they'll figure out something." She patted my hand and looked at me with the same sadness. "Of course." She said but didn't sound like she meant it and was just agreeing with me to make me feel better.

I stayed for hours until visiting hours were over and I had to leave. "I'll be here tomorrow mom, okay?" I said as I leaned down to hug her. "Okay sweetie. Love you." She wrapped her frail arms around me as tight as she could. "Love you too mama." I walked to the door and gave her one final wave before heading out. I stop at the nurses station to see if Dr. Martin was still here. "Uh, I think he is. Would you like me to call him for you?" She offered kindly. "Yes, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you." I walked over to the chairs in the waiting area and waited for Dr. Martin. As I was waiting I got this sharp pain in my head, from one side to the other. "Ahh. What the hell?"
"Are you Marjorie Williams?" I look up and see a man I haven't met before and knew wasn't Dr.Martin. "Uh yeah. May I ask who you are?" He reaches a hand out to me and I hesitantly take it. "I'm Dr. Jackson, I'm taking over for Dr.Martin. Today was his last day. He retired, he said that your mother knew so I assumed you did to." This was news to me. I wasn't aware of the change in doctors, probably moms way of not wanting me to be worried. "I wasn't aware but thank you for letting me know." He smiled at me with a small nod. "You're welcome. Was there anything you needed?" I was thrown off that I totally forgot I actually needed something. "Oh uh, yeah. My mom said that her treatments and medicine stopped working." He nodded his head before looking at his feet. A sign that I've come to know as no good. "I'm afraid that's true, but I have studied your mothers files for a while and I'm trying everything I can to try to find something that will work. But like you mentioned, her cancer has been unresponsive to the last set of treatments. I know that's not something you want to here, but I'm still trying." I sat back down and put my head in my hands. Knowing what he wasn't saying. No matter how hard he tried, there was nothing they could do now that her cancer was responding to anything. In that moment my heart broke even more. She was the last good thing I had after my dad died. He was a firefighter, and a good one at that. Never left anyone behind, and in the end that is what took his life but he died a hero. And now, I was going to lose my mom, a woman who lived to find hidden treasures of the world, a woman who gave all that up after I was born because she didn't want me to grow up and always be gone. There was one time she actually went on another job and took me with her so she could show me what she did and hoped that I would grow a love for it as much as she did. "Ms.Williams-"
"Jorie, you can call me Jorie." I corrected him. He took the seat next to me and began speaking again. "Jorie, of course, I can tell you're feeling a lot of emotions right now. Just because you want to be strong for your mother, doesn't mean you can't cry. Crying doesn't show weakness, it's shows the pain but can also show the joy that a person is feeling." He was right but I felt so lost finding out about my mom that my mind was reeling and I didn't know what emotion was which at the moment. "Thank you Dr. Jackson. It's just that she's the last good thing I have, I don't what I'd do without her." I put my head down and close my eyes and sigh. I feel a hand on my back and look to Dr.Jackson. "I know this is hard, I'll trying everything I can." I nod and stand while saying, "thank you doctor." And then make my way out of the elevator and press the lobby button, leaning back against the shining walls as the doors close.
My world was crashing around me and it has been for a long time now. It seemed everything I held dear, was slipping through my fingers and there was nothing that I could do to stop it no matter how hard I tried.
I'm sorry mom.