Dream Diary

Chapter 1

My first Entry

Diary entry 1:

My dream was strange, there was a woman in an empty wood, I was watching as if I was some sort of large… animal? The woman looked quite worried, I wanted to help her but my body wouldn’t let me, all I could do was watch her, almost stalking her. All of a sudden an animal pounced on her neck and I ran forward and started to claw. I tried to tell myself to stop but I didn’t have control of myself anymore. A piercing scream, breaking this dream and bring me back to my reality. I realised I was lying in a pool of my own sweat. I can’t handle it anymore… I just...AAARRRGH!!!

That entry was a while ago now but since then I got a psychiatrist and I don’t attack myself in my sleep anymore. I just feel like giving up, I feel like I’m just constantly falling down, further and further, into the obis, into nothingness. I sometimes even get scared of my bed, scared of sleeping, so I have to cry myself to sleep, tears trickling down my face and blood trickling from my wrists. My boyfriend knows about this and he begs me to stop but I just can’t, this is becoming a serious problem. I feel like everyone is my enemy and the only one I can ever trust is Zack, not even some of my friends. All the girls think I’m a really cute guy and they keep crowding around me, that’s when I really lose my temper and some of my dreams come to life (the ones that are slightly less creepy then my first one). I’ve even murdered someone in my dream and then this… came true. I don’t know what’s happening to me; I loved this person… my uncle. I feel ashamed, I can’t believe I did this, I hate myself for it but I really couldn’t stop myself. These dreams, nightmares even, are getting the better of me and are taking over my life to make it worse than anything ever has to be.