From Tina

Chapter 1: The Vanishing Act (Alternative)

When I was seven and you were five, Gramps and Nana took us camping at Algonquin Provincial Park. 

Sounds of rushing water fade in, rustling leaves, the sound of cicadas and birds chattering distantly.

It was early Fall, so the trees still had most of their leaves, and we still had Mama. Do you remember that trip? We said bye to Ma in her slippers and housecoat on a morning that was so early, I was wiping the sleepies out of my eyes and you were sleeping standing up. I had to carry your backpack and sleeping bag to the car while you trailed behind me like a tiny zombie. Mama kissed us both on the cheeks and told us,

"Have a good time with your grandparents. Don't give them too much trouble" (Mom's character voice here)

We both jumped in the car while Nana and Gramps chuckled at our sleepy faces and Ma stayed by the door for a minute, tossing us kisses, waves, and dragging on a cigarette which she tried to hide behind her back while she thought we weren't looking. You drooped onto my shoulder and drooled all over me. I watched Nana glance back at us, smiling, and Ma stamp out her cigarette and approach the car. I closed my eyes so I could overhear them talking while it looked like we were both asleep. 

"We'll be back Monday afternoon, sweetheart. We'll give you a call if anything happens. We won't be too far. Just Algonquin. Home in a jiff" Nana reached through the window to squeeze Ma's' hand. "You'll be good with us gone?" She said this in a stern tone. Ma chuckled.

"Well yes I would think so given that I asked you to take the kids. Be good to have some peace." There's a moment of silence. Nana lowers her register/lowers her voice

"Emmy, you won't go there, will you?" Ma didn't say anything.

"Emmy, it's no good to go there. I know that you know that. It's no good for your life sweetheart, and... you can't exactly guarantee safety."

"Ma, I never--" Ma notices she's raising her voice without meaning to. She sighs and lowers her voice again. "You're making assumptions about what I'm going to do with you and the kids gone. I never said I would. And even if I did, I know how to handle myself. Dad believes me." 

"Sure. But your Mom just worries about you. I do too" There's a pause here between all of them. 

"Ok, well have a good trip" Ma taps the top of the car.

"Emmy..." 

"Make sure Seb doesn't eat any dirt. He's in that phase now. Tina should be able to spot his warning signs"

Ma's footsteps walking away up the stairs to the house. 

"We love you sweetheart. We just don't want you to go vanishing on us."

Nana revved the engine and we were on our way, and I thought, for a second, that I saw Ma's eyes emit a twinkle like a fire's spark, but then she was inside and we were on the road to Algonquin. 

Two weeks later, Nana and Gramps moved in. They started taking us on camping trips every weekend. We learned how to tie proper knots and light a fire and tie our food up so no animals would get them. We also learned that Ma now took afternoon naps and would sometimes just be gone entirely from the house. 

Two months later, late November I think, we had our first snow and Mom was gone for good. Sometimes I think about what Nana said, 

"We just don't want you to go vanishing on us" and wonder why she didn't then try harder to find her. I always come up short. There is no sense, Seb. I found one of Ma's t-shirts at the bottom of the laundry bin not long after she was gone so I kept it in my closet, hoping one day Nana would get some investigator team together and I would give them the t-shirt that I imagined would still smell like her. "We'll find her" I'd say, like some kind of mini detective.

I'm trying to get home to you, Seb. You can't have gotten too far. Maybe I'll get home and you'll be sitting on the couch petting Stacey like it's an average day. I'll run and tackle you, maybe fake punch you for tricking me into thinking you were gone. We'd make popcorn and watch Masterchef and I'd squeeze you until you ran out of air. But, I can't have you vanish on me Seb. I won't let it happen.