"sometimes, being the protagonist of it all is harder than it is to be the cause."
no matter how much saihara tried to think of something else, he couldn't get this thought out of his head. 'when did I.........' why did he start thinking about this again? oh right, ouma.
actually, why was he thinking about the boy? no, this is a pointless train of thought, he should stop thinking about this. he should stop before his thoughts lead into something he'd probably cry about for another hour.
hm, he should go do something productive to get his mind off of things. he doesn't feel like being alone with his thoughts. he wishes he could go cook something with tojo, but she's dead. he should stop thinking about her.
but he was the protagonist, he led tojo to her death. he shouldn't just shove her death away from his thoughts. that's disrespectful — but then again, they would do the same if it was him that died, right?
he could've talked with hoshi, but he's dead - and it's all his fault. he shouldn't have let his guard down. especially in a killing game. he could've found out more about amami, but he's dead. they're all dead, why would they matter? right, because they're 'friends.'
why is he friends with people he just met? in a killing game, you shouldn't just trust whoever you want and consider them your friend. who knows, one of your so-called friends could actually be the mastermind of such a game.
who could be the mastermind? saihara has no answer for that. he may be the ultimate detective but he can't immediately find out the perpetrator. that's dumb to think.
that would require incredible precognition, of which saihara absolutely does not have. he investigates what had already happened, not what's about to happen. that's not what a detective is for, right?
hm. talents.........how does ouma's talent work? he said he was a leader of an organization with an unsure amount of members. could their be 15? 20? maybe it's only 10.
other leaders could have easily gotten the same talent. what makes ouma so special that he earned the title of ultimate supreme leader? extreme kindness towards his organization, maybe? that may seem off considering it's ouma, but there could be a side of him that saihara doesn't know about.
there's always a side to someone that others wouldn't know about, actually. momota could have a malicious side, but saihara doesn't know. harukawa could be kind, no one would know. iruma could have a less vulgar side to her, he wouldn't know, they don't talk much.
ouma, he could have a way more honest side to him. no one knows, he chooses not show signs of such kindness, but that's fine. if he doesn't wanna speak any truth then he doesn't have to.
sometimes, lies aren't completely bad. sometimes, saihara can just lie and not think much about it. sometimes, he can just take a break. a break...that'd be nice.
but ofcourse, since it's a a killing he's in and he's a detective, he can't have breaks. he has to be investigating, not relaxing in the comfort of his bed.
but, no one's calling for him. he's of no use to anyone right now, he can just think more and more about whatever comes to mind.
............of no use...huh, a useless detective? that's new. his uncle would be disappointed in him, he insisted to work as a detective along side him yet he was useless.
his uncle's efforts would go to waste, he raised a detective that can't do anything to help. that'd be a big disappointment, really. but it doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter at all. he gave up on being a detective already, but ofcourse no one would listen. who cares about a useless detective's choice? no one, ofcourse. well, that's what saihara thinks anyway.
hm. what're the others doing, actually? ouma's probably doing something about the killing game again. talking with monokuma, maybe?
no forget tha— suddenly, his door ringed, breaking him away from his thoughts. ofcourse someone would disrupt him, why wouldn't they? not wanting to be completely useless, he stood up to open the door, revealing some all too familiar purple hair.
“is there anything you need?” he asked the boy who then pushed saihara aside, making himself comfortable on saihara's bed. “momota's chasing me!!! help me hide from him!!!!” ouma said dramatically, pulling the covers over himself like some sort of gremlin.
insted of responding, saihara just closed the door and sat against it. going back to his unsurprisingly depressing thoughts. “saihara?” this is new, saihara isn't — at all — responding.
irritated, ouma walked up to him and started poking him. saihara's lack of a reply only angering him more, leading him to mess with an extremely stubborn piece of hair on top of saihara's head. he only got an irritated groan from saihara, but it was still a response. kinda.
“saihara's a lil sadboy now. what're you thinking about, hm?” eager to see the boy's face, ouma cupped saihara's cheeks and made him look at the purplenette in the eyes — god, was this adorable. “nothing.” was saihara's only response, pulling away from ouma's hold and going back to thinking about random things.
“how dare you ignore the ultimate supre—”
“how did you earn your talent?” saihara asked out of the blue, yet still not looking at ouma. the question was odd, but not too odd considering it was a detective that asked him. hm, is he thinking about ouma maybe? how flattering.
after thinking a bit about saihara's question, he started to ramble about all the reasons he got the talent of supreme leader — such as how amazing he was with planning missions for his organization. that was nice, saihara could just rest and listen to ouma's ridiculous lies for a while.
yeah, maybe. sometimes, lies could be a good distraction. sometimes, he can just rest.
