irresistible||larry

Part 16

May 14, 5:28 am.
Three weeks before the collapse.

The more we understand what is happening in the world, the more frustrated we often become, for our knowledge leads to feeling of powerlessness.

We feel like we are living in a world in which the citizen has become a mere spectator or a forced actor, and that our personal experience is politically useless and our political will a minor illusion.

Illusion. It hits hard as a word but you never know what it actually means. A broken dream. That was the best way to describe it in Louis' opinion. The illusion to live, the illusion to love, the illusion to be loved. The clock is still ticking. Life is passing and Louis was just waiting for it to begin, for things to get better.

Day six, Louis woke up, took a shower, and Harry came to check on him. Day seven, Louis woke up, ate something and Harry came check on him. Day eight, Louis didn't eat, but Harry came check on him. Day nine, Louis didn't get up from the bed, but Harry still came check on him. Day ten, in the middle of the night, Louis couldn't close his eyes.

He didn't sleep, because her voice hunted him in his dreams. Her face, her eyes, her touch. He didn't want to see her, he needed to forget her. Louis couldn't even think about her without feeling hie eyes burning, or his nose going red.

Sometimes acting strong is so hard that you just need to lay down, you know? Louis was so fucking tired. Not tired of life, is not like he wanted to kill himself, but he was tired of his life. He didn't want to live like that, but he also knew that his choices brought him to where he was. It was all. His. Fault.

Harry was not a problem, or at least, he wasn't supposed to be one. He was just, you know, his fuck buddy. But then, sometimes, that feeling wouldn't leave his stomach. It made him feel sick. (No it didn't.)

It scared him. It scared him because him and Harry were nothing, absolutely nothing. If Harry would have left tomorrow saying that he needed to change country, Louis would have to be able to accept that. He had to accept that. He could not depend on anyone, because if he did, he wasn't going to be a person anymore. It was going to be Louis&Harry, Louis and someone. He needed to learn to live on his own, even though he already knew how to.

Suddenly, the noise of heavy footsteps coming from the other side of his door snapped him back in his head. He closed his eyes, trying not to make any noise. If it was a thief, or some gang member, Louis was fucked and no, not in the pleasurable way.

The knot of his door moved, and the a dark figure entered in his room. His eyes were almost closed, but he was still able to see what was going on in the room. The light was coming from outside the window, so Louis guessed it was around 5 am. Who the fuck would randomly enter in his room at 5 am?

The tall figure stood there for a while, just watching Louis sleep, with his arms crossed over his chest while he leaned against the door. Then he slowly walked to his bed and started picking up his tissues and rubbish from his bed. Obviously, when Louis woke up the day before, he staid in bed all day without bothering to clean anything. And now the tall figure was doing it for him? Was he some sort of angel?

By the shape of their shadow and the short hair, Louis guessed it was a he. So he started to trow everything in the bin, then got closer to Louis' bed. Uh..should he be scared?

He looked at his face for a few seconds, then he tucked the covers around Louis, making Louis' position way more comfortable, if he may add. The last thing he did before leaving completely the room, was leave a kiss on Louis' forehead. His scent made it's way in Louis' lugs, filling him with a familiar and warm feeling. It was Harry's scent.

Without even doing it on purpose, he sighed in content, making Harry smile over him. Once he was out of the room, Louis had all the time to realize what the fuck just happened. Because Harry! Just! Kissed! His! Forehead!

It was getting weirder.

~*~

Louis was starting to open his eyes when Harry came for his usual checking. As soon as he opened the door, he made his way to Louis' windows and opened them, letting the warm light of the sun sit in every part of his room, making it look almost hopeful.

"Rise and fucking shine." Harry sighed as he made his way to Louis' bed, seeing that he was sat on it observing his movements. "Or, just fuck."

Louis actually smiled at that. It felt weird, he hadn't laughed in a while, his face was almost hurting. Harry smiled himself after seeing him smiling, his dimples popping out. They just stared at each other for a while, neither of them taking off the smile of their face. Stupid loneliness.

"So uhm...how are you today?" Harry asked as he stopped smiling, but kept looking at him.

"I uh...I'm okay, I—" Louis couldn't finish his sentence when his throat started burning. He coughed way more than he should, he just couldn't stop. Fuck, he's getting worse.

"You...you're not better, are you?"

Louis nodded. Harry got closer to him, wanting to wrap his arms around him, but Louis stopped him. "Don't." He cleared his throat. "You'll get sick."

"L."

"H."

"You know I don't care."

"I know you do."

"Louis..."

There was a long pause after that, in which Louis thought he went to the moon and then came back to earth. He wouldn't admit it, but it felt kind of...right.

"I'm—" He paused. "Oh god, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay it's— it's pretty much my name." Pause. "You can call me Louis if you want." He said.

"Really?"

"I guess?"

Another long pause. Is this awkward? Fuck. Ugh. Shit. It probably is. Without saying another word, Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, laying in bed with him under the covers, which made Louis feel a lot warm, if he may add. Like he already said, he just needed to be held a second. That's it.

And when did they get into this habit of  kissing?

The kiss was slow, and Louis wanted to pull away, because he was ill. But instead, he put a hand on Harry's cheek to pull him closer. They kissed for a bit, don't ask for how long, Louis didn't count. He obviously didn't. He was a bit too occupied to kiss his— uh... friend, with benefits? They pulled apart, eyes closed, breathing against each other's lips.

"Harry." He breathed, a smile evident on his lips.