The air around them was cold and dense, and so they huddled closer to the fire. A half empty bottle of whiskey lay between them in the dirt, having been full at the start of the night. The fire in front of them crackling and burning low. It was their last night together, tomorrow evening Cas has a plane to catch, a free trip to Parvan province in Afghanistan courtesy of the United States Air Force where he would be doing supply runs in and out of free fire zones all over the Hindu Kush mountain range.
So they decided to make the most of the time they had left. And at the moment that meant sitting by eachothers side and drinking to forget, forget the fact that this was Cas' third deployment, forget the fact that he would be gone for 2 years, forget the fact that they were hopelessly in love with each other yet too afraid to admit it.
"Dean"
"Hmm, what is it Cas?"
Tears started to fall onto Cas' unshaven cheeks, making their way down his throat and glistening in the light cast from the fire.
"Dean, I- I need to tell you something."
Dean picks up the bottle of whiskey and brushes dirt off the label. He takes a long pull and screws the cap back on before setting it nearer Cas' feet than his own.
"We've been friends for 5 years now, and- and --
"And what Cas?" Noticing the tears but not wanting to mention them Dean pust his hand on Cas' shoulder and squeezes.
"Dean, I dont want to leave- I dont want to leave you." Tears are streaming freely now and he makes no effort to hide them.
"I dont want to leave again, I dont want to leave home, I dont want to leave my friends, but goddamnit Dean I dont want to leave you!"
Cas turns and looks into Deans eyes, seeing the fire crackle inside and make them gleam.
"Dean, say something, im losing it here. Please,, please." His voice cracks on the last word and a choked sob escapes his chest but he doesnt look away from Dean's face.
Dean says nothing for a few moments before leaning in and resting his forehead against Cas'
"I love you Cas, so, much."
Cas feels tears that arent his falling on his shirt.
"Dean,,, Dean I--
Dean cuts him off with a kiss, tentative, afraid, moving his way from Cas' lips to his jaw and then his neck, breatheing hot whiskey breathe onto his throat.
When he breaks away Cas says "Dean Winchester I have always loved you, been in love with you, and I always will be."
"I dont want to leave."
Dean grabs Cas by the collar and pulls him to his feet, he places his hands on either side of his face and kisses him without any fear or hesitation. And then he starts pulling him towards the tent.
About an hour later the fire has burned itself out, the whiskey has been retrieved and the bottle is empty. Dean is curled around Cas, body pressed against his and he has his arms folded protectivley around his chest. The two listen to the night around them and each other's breathing for a few moments before Cas nuzzles his head into Deans chest and whispers "When i get back, will you marry me?"
Dean sighs and kisses cas on the back of his head, he runs his hands over Cas' chest and pulls him in tighter than before.
"So,,, is that a yes?"
Dean wakes up in bed panting, tears streaming down his face as he frantically gropes for the bedside lamp. When he turns it on he stares at the empty space beside him, and then turning his gaze towards the far endtable he rests on a framed picture of Cas in uniform, a small Card with scripture written on it and two dates and a name at the top. It reads as follows.
Castiel Novak~~ 1985-2014
Dean collapses in tears and buries his face in the pillow. When he is finished and only small uncontrollable sobs escape him he says "Yes".
