The short life

The notebook stream

'My 13 year old self would always dream of being known for anything just that thought of someone walking up to me asking for a picture was my biggest dream, I would try singing to myself, making lyrics, dancing, writing, gaming, editing...everything and yet nothing work never worked but then I found twitch. I was 15 when I realized how many people were blowing up on twitch, my mind ran with thoughts and I already had a pc that I could stream on.'

At 15 I started my twitch channel. It was so cool and a week later I got 10 followers. It might not seem like a lot but I was so happy cause I felt like I was gonna get somewhere. 2 months later I had 1000 followers and was getting 1600 views per stream, say another 3 months and I got 5000 followers. I kept going up and up the numbers wouldn't stop I was so happy to finally feel like I was gonna be famous'

'After a year of streaming I got 400k followers on YouTube, 700k on twitch, 600k on Twitter...my dreams were coming into a reality and during my birthday stream a huge twitch streamer raided me causing me to blow up more...it was insane'

'My discord server was amazing, on that server I met a girl and she became my closest friend until she told me she had feelings for me which I was also hiding...we started dating. It was amazing. We met up a year after dating and it was the best moment of my life to met the girl I was calling every night and telling her I can't wait to hug her and just run through a field of flowers holding hands and laughing.'

'We would stream together but we didn't tell them about are love life as are parents didn't know we were lesbian. We were living everyone's dream life, a streamer with so many supporters and having an amazing love life with no problems.'

'It was 2 years after I started streaming when...stuff happened. I was reading through tweets with my name and found things saying "she's fat lmfao like she can not work out it's not hard." "She's so gay it hurts my eyes I hope her parents kick her out" "she isn't even funny why does she have followers" "it's all fake followers girl bought them" "she will never be as good as male streamers! GIRLS CANT STREAM!" I wanted to cry but I couldn't because I was living the dream life and if I cried I would seem ungrateful. I didn't tell anyone my heart was breaking...and I wanted to die...'

'2 years and 4 months after my first stream, I was streaming and it was calm for about an hour until I was raided...but it wasn't...it wasn't a good one it was full of people attacking me...someone freaking raided me to get his fans to attack me. I was done with this stupid app. This stupid job and everything about it I'm done with this life! As soon as he joined and I saw my whole chat full of people calling me fat and ugly and to unalive myself...I ended the stream and just broke down I couldn't do this anymore'

'I pulled out this notebook and wrote everything about my life as a female streamer, I got a box and placed it inside and wrote down your address and placed a note 'read on stream my lovely, goodbye I will miss you see you later on in life I'll be watching over you.'

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