Hold You In My Arms (Stevens book 9)

Chapter 12

Fiona couldn't sleep. She had too much on her mind, so she rolled out of bed and reached for a robe draped over the chair next to the bed, taking her time to look at Henry's sleeping form. She couldn't help but smile as she watched him. He had been considerate and gentle while at the same time proving to her that not every moment in lovemaking had to be serious. It was a novel thought.

There was still some chocolate cake left, and Fiona grabbed a plate as she passed it on her way to the small balcony that looked over the city below. It wasn't as impressive as the roof garden, but it was late, and everything was quiet and still.

What now? She thought as she ate a small bite of cake. Henry had always been her crush and her dream, and now that dream had come true. At least a form of it had. Henry wasn't offering her forever, but they had shared something meaningful. She could feel it in her bones.

She had taken what had been offered, and she didn't regret it, but what now? Was it time to get a new dream? What did she want from life? She had gone from her parents' house to college, from college back to her parent's house.

Fiona had felt more alive in this one day than she ever had before. Was that all Henry, or was it because she was following a dream that she wanted and not following other's wants and wishes? If that was her and not Henry, what was her next dream?

She had an undergraduate degree in psychology, and she had always wanted to pursue it. Fiona had a hard time connecting with people and thought it might make it easier to deal with her shyness if she knew what made humans tick.

Henry wasn't staying, and her heart hurt at the thought, but she had loved him for so long from afar that his going wasn't going to change her life. She wouldn't pine for him anymore now than she had over the last fifteen years. Although, now she had some damn good memories to take with her, which was more than she had before.

"What are you thinking about?" Henry asked as she came up behind her, reaching over her shoulder and running his finger through the chocolate frosting that was left on the plate.

"I don't think I want to work the ranch anymore." It was the first time she had said the words aloud, and they felt good to say. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Then you shouldn't, and you should do whatever you want," Henry said in a supportive voice as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Henry?" Fiona asked as she swallowed hard.

"Yes?" Henry buried his face in her neck and inhaled deeply.

"Are you naked?" she couldn't help the squeak in her voice.

"I am." He kissed her neck and sent a shiver down her spine.

"What if someone sees you?" They were on the balcony, after all.

"Then I hope they like what they see." Fiona felt Henry grin into her neck.

Fiona forgot what they were talking about as she turned to face him.

"Fiona, you are an amazing woman. You can do whatever you want. I know you can." Henry's voice was so sincere that she felt tears prick the back of her eyes.

"Thank you. I hope my parents feel the same way when I tell them." Fiona gave a hesitant smile.

"Why haven't you told them before?" Henry asked. "Why have you been doing something you didn't want to do?" He pulled Fiona back into the room, and Fiona managed to close the door behind her before Henry spun her around and started walking her toward the bed.

"Guilt," Fiona said, liking the look in his eye.

"Guilt?" It was not the response Henry was expecting, and he pulled back and looked down at her, growing very serious. "Why would you feel guilty?" Henry was perplexed.