Hey, bitch...
You're slutty...
You're crazy....
You're self-centered...
You're judgmental...
You're arrogant...
But...
I still love you just the same.
*****
Every Monday morning I do my usual 20-minute walk from home to school and just pass by your house in hopes of seeing your smirk. Yes, smirk. You always have that cocky grin on your face every morning which would always make me think that either: (a) you had a great and evil plan forming inside your platinum blonde head, or (b) you have just successfully released your dirty little "problems" down the toilet. Either way, it makes me feel weird inside my tummy.
As you get in your red mini convertible, I am flashed with that small henna tattoo you have on the small of your back. Almost every week you have the same design, but just with a different combination of colors. I usually ask you in my noggin how you could even put it back there. I mean seriously, are you really that flexible, like every guy says at school? That statement sounded wrong, but no offense anyway.
When you catch me on site through your rear view mirror, you always give me that accusing look that says, "What is that creep looking at?" or "What is he doing here again?" Either way, you try to plaster that fake enthusiastic smile on your heart shape face and as me, if I want "another" lift, which is where my "20-minute walk" leads to every time.
You know, when I'm with you, I feel a rumbling in my stomach which could be compared to the feeling of having bad case of gas because of a bad burrito, enchilada, or any Mexican food that just came in through the wrong way. When I mean the wrong way, I mean the wrong way.
The drive is usually silent because your busy fixing your make-up, while I become your sudden personal driver. I wanted to say that you're already beautiful, but I couldn't have the guts nor the balls to speak them out without using my squeaky nervous voice when you're nearby by a good 5 meter.
When the school is on one block away, you use your alluring voice and kick me instantly out of your car without even a heartbeat. I know, I should be mad at you for doing that to me every time I catch a ride; but I couldn't help but just smile that I could actually spend time with you even with just for a few minutes, even if I always get a bruise on my pride and my shin.
-----
As I am rummaging through some stuff in my locker, I see you flirting and sucking faces with your on-again-off-again douche of a boyfriend. This is an everyday occurrence, I always tell myself; but in the inside, I get the strange feeling of my heart shrinking like the crumpling of paper.
I try to tell myself that you're not mine, but I can't help myself being crushed and jealous of that self-centered jock in your arms. You should have been in my arms instead because I know I can love you more than what he does to prove how he loves you.
Everyone says that you two were really meant for each other because both of you were arrogant, egoistic, spoiled players." A match made in hell," as the people outside your group would say. The Danger Duo.
Suddenly I hear you say your goodbyes to and get away with all your "friends" in the popular clique.
With that, I close my locker and go to my first period in silence, thinking of what would it be like if you're with me now and not him.
-----
During lunch, I sit with my friends and they start to chat about things about school, sports, and the economy. I don't engage with them in their conversation because I am thinking about you.
You are always one of the things that cross my mind from time to time. I can't help it! It's like I'm so obsessed with you, but not in the stalker-ish kind of way. I don't really stalk you; I just run by your profile and look at some of your pictures to see those genuine smiles that are mildly seen by everyone.
As I am day dreaming about your sweet cheeky grins, I hear a very shrill scream and see that it was you. You are crying in front of that douche, who has an evil smirk on his face. After a few moments, you begin to run out of the cafeteria and so I get up to chase after you.
It took me almost 15 minute to find where you are until I stumble near the girl's comfort room and hear some sobs.
I suddenly knew it was you because I know the sound of you being hurt. I always see you cry in the park at night for reasons unknown to me until now; and every time I look at you, I yearn for you to just cry it out on my shoulder and tell me all your problems.
I just go in the room without knocking and then I saw you near the sink crying the heart out, with you mascara smudging and flowing down your pink-tinted cheeks.
When you look up at me, you suddenly yell at me to get out and leave you alone, but I just stand there and stare at you with care-stricken eyes.
You go up to me and push me away with rage and sadness in your eyes but I just take everything you are giving me. I let you punch and kick me just to relieve your loneliness.
After a while, start to stop and slowly begin to sob again. Because I can't help myself from seeing you in that condition any longer, I hug you so tightly to show you how much I care.
I become stiff a little, but then continue to cry.
As you begin to stop, I whisper everything I have kept in my heart for a very long time:
"Hey, bitch...
You're slutty...
You're crazy....
You're self-centered...
You're judgmental...
You're arrogant...
But...
I still love you just the same."
*****
Author's Note:
Hi! Thanks for reading this short story. I just made it because I was bored out of my mind. So... yeah.
I would like to dedicate this to one of my favorite Wattpade author's Tsubame. She has some great stories, but I like "Life as Told By Nerdy" the most.
I hope to write a long story soon so, just stand-by.
- R. Senic
