illusions

I was soaring,
Yes, there was turbulence, but I was still in the sky, soaring,
reaching for what I knew I needed.

Then I knocked into an invisible glass wall and unlike a video game,
You don't just come back to the checkpoint.

Now I'm still struggling on the ground.
I have been fighting so hard, beating against the ground unceasingly.
I started hurting my wings,
Hurting myself.

I know it'll take time to heal,
But time deserted me long ago along with the azure.
The earth is crumbling beneath me, taking away any help I could have had,
any hope I could've had.

I falter, falling in the darkness  but still flying all at once, how contradictory.

I can't see where I'm supposed to be,
I can't see where I'm going,
Where am I?
Who am I?

I'm flying on broken wings, each flap of my wings is agony.

I wonder where the azure went,
Where my happiness went,
Where my light went,
Where is whatever pushed me to take a leap of that cliff not knowing I would soar?

I want to soar again in the bright blue skies, among the stars...
I need to soar again.

I don't want to watch my dreams fly in the night and sing with the moon as it waxes and wanes,
Changing how I can't.

I need a place to rest so I can pick myself back up,
Do you think the shadows in the abyss will hold me if u let go?

Should I take a chance,
the same way I did when I jumped off the cliff?

Are my eyes open or was me soaring just a dream among dreams?

Was my smile and the azure blue sky at trick of the moon's siren song?

>×××××<

I love and hate the moon

It pulls my dreams like the tide,
One day they're so close,
I can see them,
feel them,
reach for them;
others they're so far away that I can reach and reach,
But its merely an illusion.

I could hole them in my palm
But they are light years away,
having a merry time with the moon,
dancing with the stars.

>×××××<

I longed to be there, but I had no wings

So I made wings, but now they're broken

I have no where to stop to mend them,
Someone help,
I don't trust the shadows not to throw me
further into the abyss.

Help me mend my wings.

Every shadow in the crevices between my wings and the contours of my face weighs me down, dragging me deeper into the darkness,
The air is so heavy,
My lungs won't take it in,

The voices in my head that have been silent are making their presence known,

"let go"