I was up far later than I would have been,
But I couldn't sleep.
I heard the shouting and fighting,
From the safety of my covers.
My childish eyes were blind.
I couldn't understand,
Why they loved to scream and shout...
It began with petty things,
But soon became major.
I never knew that it would change my life.
I was 6 when,
I was living in 2 houses,
Having 2 birthdays,
With 2 loving parents,
Which then became 4,
And more siblings I would never truly know...
I miss my simple-minded thoughts.
I hide in the folds of my memories,
Where I had family dances,
And more smiles than could be imagined,
Where I love you's and hugs were plenty.
When I emerge from my shell,
I find my father busying himself,
With tasks and projects.
And my mother working to pay for her 6 kids,
I listen to music and hide,
To avoid my responsibilities.
I love them all,
But I can't handle the stress.
Should I end it all now?
I never imagined how much I would change,
From that one day,
When my mother gave up my father.
I could give up,
Or I could find something new.
Maybe stay with my grandmother?
Or perhaps with the angels?
I can be strong.
I can live till tomorrow,
And then try again.
Until I grow old.
I will help bring awareness,
To my feelings.
