All I Ever Wanted (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Things got pretty difficult after that since I didn't know how to act around Harry anymore. I wasn't sure what was too close for him, and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, so I kept my distance and only talked to him when necessary.

Every fiber of my body disagreed, though. I had done all I could to make him understand how much I still cared for him the last couple of weeks and how much I wanted us to be like we once were, so this was a huge change, and I didn't like it one bit.

It felt like everything I had done had gone to waste. He would probably want to go back to not talking to me at all now that he realized how much more unproblematic it was when we weren't. And he probably found it a lot easier to deal with everything that was going on inside his head when I wasn't around him all the time.

Despite that, he seemed pretty off at work on Saturday afternoon. We were preparing for the second live show, and he barely talked to anyone, not even Nick. I could see how frustrated the older man was because of this, and he kept sending me glares now and then, probably assuming I was the reason behind it.

The sad part was that it affected Harry's acts as well since they needed coaching before the live show. He only answered their questions with a shake or nod of the head, not putting too much care into it, and it made me sad because this was not what I had wanted to happen. I wanted him to smile just like I had seen him do only a couple of days ago.

I tried telling myself that it wasn't my fault, despite Nick's dark glares at me. This was what Harry wanted. He had tried to tell me this the entire week. I had just refused to listen to him before. But somehow, I still felt like it was my fault. Perrie had said I was the reason for his smile the other day, so I wondered if I was the reason for his sadness now or if he was just hung up on everything that had happened between him and Leah.

It turned out my question would be answered only an hour before the show started. I sat on my chair at the judges' table, playing with my pen as a stylist applied makeup to my face. Through the corner of my eye, I could see Harry sitting on the edge of the stage just like he had done a couple of days ago, dangling his feet back and forth. He was wearing his blue suit, the one he had worn to the restaurant in Dublin, and he looked just as stunning this time as he did back then.

I was still admiring his looks when Leah walked up to him, her dark hair falling down her shoulders. She didn't seem sad, as I expected her to. She had a genuine smile on her lips as she approached him until she stopped right next to his figure so that I could still see both of their faces.

It took a while until she managed to get him to talk, but after a minute, I could see his lips starting to move as well. He still seemed off, though, his face in a frown and his lips in a pout. Seeing him talk made me feel a little bit better, though.

He nodded at something she mentioned and then replied to her. This repeated itself three times until both of their gazes suddenly fell on me, and I felt like a deer caught in the highlights. I quickly averted my eyes, feeling my heart thump in my chest.

Staring up at the ceiling, I ignored the fact that the stylist probably got pissed at me for moving my head. But if it weren't for her, I would have probably been running my hands over my face right now. How embarrassing.

But when I let myself think about it, it didn't make sense that they had only looked at me because they noticed me staring. There was no need to look at me like that if that was the case.

As this thought started processing in my head, I could feel curiosity build up inside me, making me slowly turn my gaze to them again. To my slight surprise, Leah wasn't there any longer, but Harry was, and his eyes were still stuck on me, sadness flashing through them. He then pushed himself closer to the edge of the stage and hopped down on the floor before walking away, making me feel oddly guilty.