Ashes of Snow

Chapter 16

AS I FLY out of the library and down the hall, Perrin unfolds himself from the wall beside the door and falls into step beside me.

"You didn't tell me they were already planning our wedding," I snarl as I march, working my way to the ballroom and from there to Theon's study. "I guess I should have realized we wouldn't have a lot of time to get to know each other."

Perrin keeps pace with me. He throws a glance behind us and I follow his gaze, my eyes locking on the herd of Winterian refugees behind us. Sir is at the lead, and when I look back at him his face darkens.

"Aerin, stop!" Sir shouts. Lucien grabs his arm and says something that keeps the procession from following me any farther. A wave of gratitude flies through me for half a breath before I shoot around a corner and lose them.

"I'm sorry," Perrin says when it's just us hurrying down the hall. "I didn't want to tell you until I had a chance to talk my father into delaying it." He spins around a corner after me and nearly smashes into a servant carrying a tray of vases. The servant cries out, both of them fly in opposite directions, and miraculously nothing falls as Perrin continues down the hall beside me.

"Why does he think he can pull strings and make us dance around like this?" I growl.

Perrin doesn't say anything.

When we get to the ballroom I charge down the stairs.

Halfway across the floor Perrin realizes where I'm going and flings himself in front of me, walking backward because I don't stop.

"Aerin, this isn't going to fix anything—"

"Don't care."

"I've talked to him every day since he announced the engagement; if I can't change his mind—"

I grit my teeth. "I. Don't. Care."

Perrin stops walking and I dart around him. I don't think; I don't do anything as Theon's study looms in front of me. All I know when I pound my fist on the closed door is that I am so, so tired of this. So tired of Theon and Cain and Sir and Lorgen and all these arrogant, puppet-master men who hold all the strings and refuse to give them up. Life could be so easy if they would just let it go, if they would just let me go, because I am so tired of this... .

I slam my fist on the door again. "Theon!" I shout.

No answer.

I try the handle. Unlocked. Stupid king.

"Aerin, wait—"

Sir has finally caught up to me, as has everyone behind him, all staring like I'm an escaped animal from Bithai's menagerie. Sir takes a step forward and I snarl. Maybe I am an escaped animal, and maybe they should look at me with that little flicker of fear. This is who I am, isn't it? The untamed, unpredictable, useless orphan girl. I don't want to hate them this much. I don't want to blame them for this. But I do, and that hating and blaming makes my chest burn until I think I might incinerate from the inside out.

"Congratulations, everyone," I announce as I open the door to Theon's study. "You've finally broken Aerin, the crazy, orphaned soldier-girl. She's snapped, all thanks to the mention of floral arrangements."

Selene whimpers but I put her behind me as I step into the study. Theon isn't in here. No one is.

A desk sits directly in front of the door with tall auburn bookcases all around, mimicking the dark and cozy aura of the entryway just behind me. Papers and quills and ink jars clutter the top of the desk, books sit on stacks of other books and a ledger leans open on a stand.