Ship In A Bottle || South Park Pirate AU

Eleven

Psst - You're gonna wanna listen to "Julia" by Reeder before you read this chapter for a fully immersive experience ;)

*

In which the ship escapes the bottle.

Kyle lay perfectly still, or rather, as still as he could, considering the fact that his bed was being swung back and forth.

"I know you're not dead, so stop pretending."

He did not respond.

"I can hear you breathing."

He held his breath.

"That's not going to work."

A finger poked his shoulder. Kyle grunted and slapped it away.

"Ow! Watch it."

"I will strike again if you don't stop shaking this thing, Stan," he warned.

With a sulky sigh, the shaking stopped. "I can't sleep."

"How tragic," said Kyle. "I, on the other hand, have no trouble with it at all. Goodnight."

Stan ignored him. "I can't sleep, and I was thinking about how you haven't had a chance to celebrate yet."

"This is my celebration."

"You can't celebrate lying down."

"Hip-hip, hooray," said Kyle. "There. I just did."

"But you should come celebrate with me."

"I'm already rejoicing in my own special way."

"But I can't fit in the hammock with you, so we can't do it together."

"Then sleep on the floor."

"But I already told you that I can't sleep."

"And I already told you that I don't care."

"You're so horrible to me," pouted Stan. "I take you under my wing, and this is the thanks I get? Pure indifference?"

"I could go a little heavier on the spite, if that's what you'd prefer."

"I'd prefer it if you went a little heavier on the get-up-and-go-have-a-drink-with-Stan."

"It's past curfew," said Kyle, a last defence. "That's against the rules."

"We'll be fine, so long as nobody tells the Captain." It was too dark to see Stan's grin, but Kyle could sure as hell hear it in his voice.

"Are you already drunk?" asked Kyle with suspicion.

"No," said Stan. "Well, maybe a little bit. Just the right amount."

"The right amount for what?"

"To have another drink with you!"

Kyle sat up with a groan. "If you promise to keep your trap shut from now until sunrise, I will have one – one – single drink in your office."

"You shan't hear a peep out of me," said Stan. He paused. "Do you want help getting down?"

"A full second and a half without talking," marvelled Kyle. "That must be a personal best."

"I've gone longer!"

"I'll believe that when I hear it."

Stan tutted in indignation. "Look, let me give you a hand. It's blacker than black, and you're graceless."