the strongest avenger (2)

thirty

"Why?"

"I'm angry." I just shrug and start fiddling with my fingers.

"And why are you angry?"

"I don't know."

She pauses and then turns to James. "And you? How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Elaborate."

"I'm just tired. Of fighting. I'm not sure what to do now that we beat Thanos."

"Now you can live. You don't have to work with SHIELD."

"Yeah but...it's all I've known. And at least here, I can help the world."

She nods and writes on her clipboard again. "Have you been making friends? With Tal maybe?"

"We're not friends." I look over at him as we say that at the exact same time.

"Okay..."

I rest my chin on my hand that's propped up on the arm rest. I admire the intricate patterns along the grey walls of Alyssa's office as she talks to James.

I must zone out, not sure how long they're talking.

"Talia?"

"Hmm?" I turn to look at the woman, brows raised. "Sorry, zoned out a bit."

"It's alright," her red lips turn up in a smile. "I just wanted to know if you've been sleeping alright, you look a little tired."

I scoff and shake my head. "I don't sleep much."

"And why's that?"

"Sometimes I'm restless, or my mind is just too awake. Mostly I get bad dreams."

"Nightmares?"

"Those are bad dreams, so yes."

She nods and jots down something. "When was the last one?"

"Last night."

She pauses from her writing and looks at me from across the desk. "Did you get any sleep at all?"

"I woke up around one, and then I've been awake since."

"And what do you do during that time?"

"Drink lots of coffee."

"Uh huh." She writes something else down on the paper. "And what do you dream about?"

"Mostly my past."

She reaches over and flips through some papers on her desk, brows furrowing. "What exactly is your history? We don't have many files on you, besides the fact that you came from space and now contain unimaginable power."

I let out a sigh. "I lived on a planet called Hala, where they made me train and strengthen my powers. They made me do...bad things. And then I was sold when I was 8, to Thanos and Ebony Maw, he was this Squidward looking thing that came in the donut to New York. They put this collar on me that siphoned my abilities and left me weak, and I was kept in the dungeons and shit for a couple of years. Sent to be babysat by the Chitauri while Maw went and did some other stuff, and then Tony sent a nuke into the ship, and I fell into the wormhole." I give Alyssa a cheeky smile. "Ta da! Here I am."

The woman just stares at me for a second, and I can sense Bucky looking at me too. Then she blinks a few times and starts writing.

I can practically feel Bucky's thoughts screaming, but I push them away. Speaking inside the mind was something I did with Peter, and I don't want to be inside anyone else's head.