Internet Bestfriend

Ang tahimik naman ng buhay ko kaasar! Bakit ba kasi walang nag chachat amag naman.

By the way I'am Tasha and I was scrolling down on my phone ng may nakita akong isang story sa facebook it's all about how they started to talk with her favorite person. Binasa ko ang story niya at dahil nagustuhan ko ang story niya inistalk ko siya to find more of her stories.

Days passed and im still reading of her stories and I think im starting to be a fan of her ang galing at ang ganda kasi ng mga plot ng story niya. Then i saw one of her post saying that "FEEL FREE TO CHAT ME". So I've decided to chat her even though im not sure kung magrereply nga ba siya. Actually RPW account ang gamit niya she's a girl role player na gumagawa ng stories sa facebook.

ME:

Hi po! Im Tasha and im starting to be a fan of you, because I feel amazed sa plots po ng stories niyo ang ganda at ang galing kasi ng pagkakagawa. Im hoping po na mapansin niyo po ako hihi.

Ilang minuto lang pagtapos ko siyang ichat ay nagreply agad siya sa akin. Im thankful because she replied.

HER:

Hi! Tasha thankful ako kasi nagustuhan mo yung mga stories ko and hoping na isupport mo pa ang mga upcoming stories ko. Hoping for more interaction with you soon.

-Axvianna(her RP name)

ME:

Omg! It's my pleasure to get noticed by you Ms.Axvianna, I'll promise that i will support your stories po. Thank you for replying.

After that night we became friends, she said that she's comfortable with me kapag kausap ako, she also tell me her real name and age. I thought she's older than me but we are in the same age we're both 18 years old.

Months passed and our conversation went deeper and great and nagagawa narin namin mag video call. We became so close hanggat sa dumatig sa point na sinasabi ko na sa kanya lahat about me and same din naman siya.

Then one day i noticed na cold na yung mga replies niya and di na rin siya nauunang mag chat. Hinayaan ko lang yun because maybe she's just busy writing a story or busy sa academics, kaya hinayaan ko nalang. Pero kinakabahan na ko na baka hindi na siya mag chat ulit because she was my first ever internet bestfriend in my entire life kaya im scared na mawala siya.

Okay so let's go back to my internet friend her real name is Rai sa ilang buwan naming pagkakaibigan she's encouraging me to write a story but of course hindi ako naging writer kasi it's not my passion. I just really want to read and writing a story is not on my mind.

Weeks passed its still the same I always get a cold replies kahit pa nagkekwento ako eh ang reply niya lang sakin is "okay" "ahh" kung hindi ganun sasabihin niya "brb" hanggang sa natapos na ang araw walang bumabalik na Rai/ Axvianna, kung hindi ko pa siya ichachat di kami makakapag usap. So I decided na wag na muna siya ichat kasi iniisip ko na baka nakakaistorbo or nakukulitan na siya sakin.

As the days passed wala akong narereceive na message sa kanya. I was hurt that time kasi nakikita ko naman na active siya and she have a lot of post and nagrerpely siya sa mga comment ng story niya, pero bakit hindi niya ako chinachat. I chat her but she just ignored it sabihin nating sineen niya lang ako, pero wala akong reply na nakuha mula sa kanya loob ng ilang oras kong paghihintay. We're not chatting anymore the way we used before, nawalan nako ng pag asa iniisip ko na maybe she don't want me na to be her friend. It really breaks my heart because all this time, I thought she will be my internet bestfriend until last but I was wrong. So i decided to deactivate my account because of that.

After one month napagdesisyunan kong I activate ang aaccount ko. Habang nag sscroll ako I saw some post about the meet up with their internet friends, they look so happy because they finally meet their internet friends, bigla akong nakaramdam ng inggit. While looking on those photos i just realized that I miss her so bad, that's why i let my pride to go down because I wanted to chat her for the last time.

I chat her that I miss her and hoping that she's happy. Everything wasn't the same anymore hindi na niya talaga ako chinachat kahit pa online siya. It feels like na parang ako talaga ang nakakamiss sa kanya. It's so funny isn't?

Before I go to sleep nag scroll ako sa fb, then i saw that she already replaced me and hindi lang yun nag meet pa sila nung bago niyang internet bestfriend she looks so happy in that picture. My tears fall down without noticing it natulala nalang ako sa picture and thinking what if di kami nag failed as bestfriends? What if were goods parin till now? Ano kaya pakiramdam na mayakap mo for the first time ang taong nameet mo lang sa internet.

Inalala ko yung time na kung pano kami nagsimula at kung paano ko siya maging takbuhan kapag may problema ako she is a one call away friend, sa kanya ko lang naranasan yung mga bagay na yun. May mga kaibigan naman ako na malapit sakin but iba yung comfort nararamdaman ko kay Rai.

I really wanted to say this to her " Masaya ako for you Rai, hope you have a great time with me before. Hindi hindi na ako mangungulit para bumalik pa tayo sa dati. You know I was so happy before when I met you lalo na nung naging magkaibigan tayo, kasi isipin mo yung fave kong manunulat naging bestfriend ko nakakavideo call ko pa. You are the only one I trust with my problems but now you left me. Wala nang mag cocomfort sakin and bumalik nanaman ako sa sa dati na sarili ko lang ang makakaintindi sa lahat ng nararanasan ko . I miss you a lot Rai and I love you."I want to send her this message but I didn't have the courage to do it.

So I was left alone and silently crying, trying my best for anyone not to hear. I hate it when a strangers became my fave person then go back for being stranger. My internet bestfriends who's always here when I need someone to talk to and now she left me alone with full of heartbreaks.