Aurora

4. HARD MASK

               

IN HER DREAMS IT WAS VERY COLD, AND WHAT LITTLE WARMTH THERE was seemed to be radiating from Benedict's skin. He sat on a mossy stone in the forest and looked at her with his sad, lost eyes. Then he stood up, turned his back, and walked away from Vesta, leaving her in the cold and rapidly fading light. No matter how fast she ran, she couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud she shouted she was sorry, he never turned. She fell to the mossy ground of the forest, weeping. Then the darkness bleached off and she was standing in the sunlight of the glades. She was running not to catch Benedict but to get to the Manor before it was too late. No matter how hard she ran, the Manor was just out of reach. Then it was gone in a loud blast that shattered it to smithereens. Her home. Her father.

     Troubled, she woke in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep again.

     The weeks that followed the accident were uneasy, tense and full of regrets.

     To her alarm, she found herself the center of attention for the rest of the week. Josh was nigh impossible, following her around, obsessed with making amends somehow. Vesta tried her best to make him go away, trying to convince him what she wanted more than anything else was for him to forget all about it but he remained insistent. He followed her between classes and Vesta had to take to planning her route with almost military precision since Benedict wasn't available to serve as a deterrent to Josh. But Josh managed to catch her every single time much to Lorraine's amusement. Her amusement soured when she found out Josh would be coming along with them to La Push — since he now sat at their crowded lunch table — and he'd be bringing Cathy along. Lorraine wore a frosty sneer whenever she saw him after then.

      Benedict got his own fair share of hassle. A lot of people had seen him dash across the lot to pull Vesta away just in the nick of time and had turned him to the hero. Everywhere he went, there was an adoring sophomore looking at him or a girl twirling her hair and giggling when he went by much to Lorraine's chagrin. But it wasn't much of a new thing for people to fawn over Benedict. It wasn't because he was suddenly a hero. It was Benedict himself. Benedict was simply a happy, warm and charming person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. It was natural, a part of who he was. Their very own Forks High sun. It was no wonder people wanted to be around him. The heroic deed just amplified that.

     Vesta suspected that was part of the reason Josh was now more or less permanently seated at their table. Whenever he wasn't apologizing to Vesta to the point of harassment, he was gazing at Benedict with an almost puppy-like awe. He beamed with light whenever Benedict spoke directly to him. Something Benedict never did to Vesta anymore.

      When he sat next to her in class — she had resumed her usual sitting position — he seemed totally unaware of her presence. She wanted very much to talk to him, and on the day after the accident she tried. The last time she'd seen him, outside the E.R, she'd said a lot of hurtful things and she would never forget the look in his eyes. She'd often toyed with the thought of telling him the truth but balked at it. It wasn't because she didn't trust him but she wouldn't endanger his life. He'd saved her life and she wouldn't repay him with danger. Yet, she ached physically at the distance between them. The compulsion it seemed had worked too well.

       He was already seated when she got to English, looking straight ahead. She sat down, expecting him to turn towards her. He showed no sign he realized someone was there.

         "Hello, Benedict," she said pleasantly, her heart thudding in her chest.

         He turned his head a fraction towards her, a faint puzzled frown between his brows, nodded once, and then looked the other way.