Worth It

Prom Dress

You know, prom has never seemed like a good idea.  A bunch of teenagers in a room with minimal adult supervision, what could possibly go wrong?

Well in my case, what can go wrong is a lot.  

My date left, my best friend ditched me and I'm stuck here in this stupid prom dress.  Some people might wonder why I'm wearing a dress.  

"Your name is Noah, you're a guy right?"

Well yeah clearly but people don't know that.  I'm trans and whatever the case, I'm not out.  It's funny, seeing all these girls and their boyfriends in fancy dresses and suits, looking all fake and happy.

I don't wanna be the type of person to call someone fake, I mean, I have no idea what their life is like, just there's something about happy people that rubs me the wrong way.

Anyway, back to being ditched.  I was on this date with this guy named Joshua, he goes by Josh but lets be real, it doesn't matter at this point.  I don't see the point of asking a guy out just to ditch him at the first pretty girl who gives you a second glance.  

I guess I'm someone with a lot of pent up anger.  It doesn't matter, right?  Probably not.  At least I hope so. 

I'm not even sure why I went out with Josh in the first place.  He's not exactly the nicest person ever.  He's handsome, I'll give him that, he's just, not my type of person.

It's sorta my own fault I ended up going to prom with him I guess.  I didn't have the nerve to ask Alex Brisbane, who I've had a crush on since 7th grade, out.  I'm too scared of being rejected.  I'm not exactly what you'd call a "brave person".  I'll do stupid things, but not actually beneficial things.

Maybe that's why Jessa left me at the dance.  She was mad at me for doing something stupid, once again.  I disappoint her a lot, which is fair, I'm sort of disappointing if you don't know what's going on in my life, which she doesn't, despite being my supposed best friend.

I look over to my left and see Alex.  He looks great, his circular glasses propped up on his nose as he reads a book.  Maybe I should go over and talk to him, it can't hurt to try, right?

"Hey Alex."  I say, startling him as he's drawn out of his book.

"Oh, hey Lila, you scared me."  He laughed nervously and smiled up at me.

"What're you reading?"  I asked.

"Oh, uh, Red, White and Royal Blue."  He replied quietly, looking sort of embarrassed.

"That sounds cool."  I said, smiling at him as he sat there, looking nervous on the bleachers.

"Uh, I have to go.  Sorry Lila, see you later."  He babbled as he grabbed his book and practically ran out of the gym.

"Bye Alex."  I whispered, feeling bad all of the sudden.

Maybe we weren't meant to be.