It all started on January 17th, 2021, I was laid up in bed feeling the pain of that day's incident. While laying there and swiping left and right one thought kept running through my mind, "Can I find the one swiping like I am? Jerrami found Rachel like this, and look where he is now". Now looking back I realized how wrong I was, love can't always be found in an app... God gives you the one when the time is right and this time wasn't it, but what did I know? I was only a child, I was just heartbroken and looking for attention, a void, someone to feel that lost feeling I once had. You seemed so perfect in the beginning but only if I knew what the future held. In the following weeks, we Face-timed every night, you would tell me how beautiful and amazing I was, and you made me feel things that made my heart smile but in the end, my family and friends were what I needed not you but I didn't know any better. In due time after talking for months, you had me convince my parents to let you come stay with us for two weeks. They kept telling me it was a bad idea but I didn't listen before I knew it you were here. Those two weeks went by in a blur, in that time you took me on one date... and took my virginity, something I so heartedly wanted to wait to do until marriage, but that didn't matter to you I was just number seventeen to you.. but at that time I was so caught up in it all. The day you left you kept telling everyone that you'd marry me, that I would be your wife. After that day I should've said goodbye forever and sent you back to Georgia forever. Months pass and you return to see me again, You came a couple weeks before my 18th birthday. You took me to the movies. You didn't even let me finish the movie before you took me out to your car and done me again after so I acted as if everything was fine, I put on a fake smile and changed my mood to a happy one because we had to go to a cookout, they kept asking "How was the movie? Was it good" I just had to lie, I told them, "it was great!" "The ending was great." Knowing I didn't even know what happened in the end and to this day I still don't. Fast forward to New Year's Eve, we went to a birthday party. It was Natalie's 16th birthday, you tried so hard to get me away and for us to go to a high school party with all my "friends", but why? So you could have your way with me after getting me drunk? Thankfully I didn't allow you to touch me in the way you wanted to that night, instead, we played card games and you bragged about all the women or girls you had slept with in front of people I knew very well and to people, we had only met that night. You bragged about the threesome you had in the back of a band bus on the way home from an away game. I just shook it off and made myself believe that was all in the past, that it was just something minor because you were a kid in high school and that you'd grown up, but I was wrong. The following day you took me to the mall to celebrate our one year, I don't even think we stayed there for more than 25 minutes before you took me out to the car and convinced me to have sex with you in the parking lot, I didn't want to and I told you that but it didn't matter to you, you were just "in pain and needed a release." On the way home I drowned out my thoughts by turning the music up probably just a bit too high and going to sleep to cope with the anxiety that was coursing through my body by not only what you had done but also for the way you were driving. You knew that I couldn't stand the way you drove yet you never did anything to change it, you would play games on your phone while running 80+ mph. No matter how bad my anxiety attacks you didn't care. It didn't matter if I was crying and screaming for you to stop or to slow down. After that I drove everywhere.. and you would beg me for me to let you drive my truck. Why did you wanna drive my "piece of shit Chevrolet" anyway? You didn't like it one bit, you always claimed that your Ford Fusion was better because it could beat mine in a race and that the music sounded better in it. You would always tell me that a truck wasn't meant for a female and that every girl you knew drove a car, with that said you would purposely offer to buy me a Ford knowing I would never own one for a major reason, you would tell me that you would fix up my truck the way I've wanted it for so long, but I had to wait until after I graduated college, but yet you always claimed you were always broke. You would have me pay for everything but complain about my pay and that I wasn't getting paid enough and then you'd get mad at me when I wouldn't have enough money to fill up my tank. The truth is you used me for my money to the point I had no other choice but to stay home or ask my dad for gas money just so I could go to work. You always told me that you needed money so me being who I am I would send you money, I paid for your damn classes, I paid for your damn college. but yet you wanted to pay my way through college? You couldn't even fill up my truck when we would go driving around town all day. or even offer to pay for my food when we went out. On your 22nd birthday, you drove here for one day to spend it with me, I spent the whole day while you were driving here to make it special for you, I made your favorite pie because you don't like cake, I went and bought your games for your PlayStation because you complained about not having the money for them, or a new controller because you got mad and broke yours, but you didn't recognize any of that.. you just kept begging not only me but also my mom for us to go watch a movie because you wanted sex and after telling you No multiple times you got mad and threw a fit so I caved and we left to go get ice cream. The whole way home you kept begging me to pull over and that my mom wouldn't realize that it took us 15 minutes longer to get home than it normally does. Did you think I was that stupid? Later that night you told me how mad and disappointed you were in me for not giving you what you wanted. I stayed up all night crying thinking I was worthless and for what? Not giving you sex? That's all you ever wanted from me, you just wanted my body, you didn't ever love me for me, instead, you changed me and made me think that nobody would ever love me again and that I was stuck with you because you would be the only person to "love" me. When prom came around you made senior prom terrible. You complained the whole time about your back and your feet hurting but did you ever consider what you were doing? Then afterward your back was all better and you wanted to fuck me in the Challenger I drove us to prom in, knowing that it belonged to the dealership and that it came back messed up I had to buy it, so I took us home and made you go back home. The next day you kept telling me what a terrible person I was but did you know that I took that same challenger into town and considered getting on the interstate and topping it out at top speed? The reason I didn't is because I had Lilliann in the passenger seat to save me from myself. Without her, nobody would have to deal with me again. You kept telling people that you saved me from me when it has constantly been her. Graduation came around and I met your family. They were great at the time, your dad reminded me of my grandfather, he messed around with me like he once did. It brought me genuine happiness, but they don't view me the same way they once did now do they? After graduation, you kept begging me to let you smoke weed after I asked you not to multiple times, but I caved, again. You ended up not being able to handle it and greened out in front of me so I left after knowing you would be taken care of by Jeanette. I took Becca home and made sure she was taken care of and the following day I took you both back to your parent's hotel so you could get your stuff for the senior trip and I said goodbye to your parents. That Monday morning we left for the trip after I finished loading up the truck. We got down there and you ruined the entire trip... You turned all my friends against me and now I've lost one of them for good, so thanks for that... Luckily I was able to save the other friendships, it took me a couple of months but I got them back. You told them all this shit that wasn't true and twisted words and lied to all of us so nobody got the senior trip they wanted. The night before we left you choked me to the point I thought my life was on the line.. all because you "lost your balance" After that happened I kicked you out of the room and showered with water so hot that my skin was blood red.. and cried myself to sleep because I was too scared to go to Lilliann and Mcpherson and something bad would happen to one of them. The next day I was so mad that I left all of them at the beach and drove us home. The following Monday you left for Texas to start your training. After a week of being there, you had to go back to Georgia to "finish paperwork" for your military leave but we all know you have to have that all done before you can even leave the base the first time so what did you actually do? Because you didn't even stay on base, you stayed in a hotel 25 minutes from base and it took you a whole week to do the so-called paperwork. Once you came back, you went back to Texas and within the next 5 weeks you convinced me to quit my job and start looking for a house for us in Tuscaloosa so 2-3 days a week I was driving down there with Rachel to find our house. In the end, I knew I didn't wanna move down there and so I got my job back after a month of not working and you decided to get a place here in Cullman. At this point, you kept trying to get me to move in with you and take me away from my family. You didn't even want me to work because I was starting college knowing I can't stay at home and do nothing. You kept begging me to stay the night and to hurry up and move in knowing I wasn't ready to leave home. After that, you and my mom got into an argument and you went and cried to mommy and made me seem like the bad person. She called me a slut, a pos, a whore and so much more that truly hurt me deep down but in the end, I know it wasn't true. Then you claimed that I was cheating on you. Clearly, you wouldn't think I was cheating unless you were first, because you had to really dig through my phone to find anything to accuse me of. Not only that, you accused me of selling nudes to other men on a damn app. Afterward, you try and go out of your way to spend $200+ on one single ticket just so you knew I wouldn't do anything wrong at a concert I was at with my own mother. After that, I spent the next day talking to my aunt while we were at a funeral about what I should do and she gave me the one answer I needed. She told me to leave and find the man God had for me. So the next day I left you and never saw you again. But then you sent me flowers as a pity gift to make up for it all. I don't know what I saw in you but was damn sure blinded.. and after all the shit you put me through I only wish you the worst because now I'm constantly having to lock the doors and check over my shoulder. You have no clue how much you damaged me. You went and rubbed my name all through the dirt and now your family just thinks I'm a whore and a slut. So thank you for making me stronger and thank you for helping me realize who I really am.
