The Diary

Emily's Demise

Fort Worth, Texas October 19, 1995 Hi..... My name is Emily let me tell about my life it all started when I was born growing up it all started out good I had my mom and dad they loved me and I loved them everything was going good until my mom and dad got a divorce I was heartbroken I loved my dad you know he was my heart.... I was devastated and then mom got remarried to..... him....... his name was Butch she though butch was the perfect guy... at first it's was alright I first like him until......that day a day that I will never forget a day that makes me hate myself to this day.... when the sick bastard went into my room, my mom was asleep she didn't know what happen... the sick bastard came next to me, I was in a nightgown he came next to me and then...... he stick his hand under my nightgown, playing with my pussy, fingering me, forcing himself on me, as I resisted saying "Stay away me you sick son of a bitch" he grabs me and gets on top of me, smacks me in the mouth and says "Shut the hell up you stupid slut" he then ties me up to my bedpost and puts duct tape on my mouth and then says " It's time for you to get what you deserve" he then pulls down his pants and whips his dick out, he pulls my nightgown up and my panties down he then decides to..... stick it in the more I tried to fight he just thrust harder hell I even bleed.... he pop my cherry, the son of bitch stole my virginity..... then he untied me took the duck tape off my face and said "say anything about this and I will kill you and your bitch of a mother" and then he left... there I was crying and left there laying in a ball of tears and blood..... I will never forget that night. Fort Worth, Texas January 6, 1997 Well..... two years after that son of a bitch raped me he started to show his true colors he started to beat on my mom..... he would get so mad he would beat her with his fist he used to insult her things like bitch, slut and whore and call her useless and why was she even alive..... she still stayed with him fuck she even blamed me for the problems, her only child she blamed me her only child and I was why mom why do blame me for all of this why? I started feel that she started to hate me and I never told her about that terrible day...... "If only she knew" I said. my 16th birthday was coming up but really.... I was not excited, not excited at all actually I was in pain a deep pain see.... a year ago I met this boy his name was tom at first didn't like him he seemed like a dick but then he started to grow on me turns out he has crush on me... at first I just wanted to stay friends but then... he eventually grew on me so I started dating him and at that time it was like one of the best decisions I ever made I though he loved me I loved him.... hell I even fucked him.... I gave him something that no one else could get which was love and trust but then one day... I.... I started to feel sick, It was a feeling I never had felt before so I went to the pharmacy and picked up a pregnancy test I bought it It only cost $20.00 I opened it and read the instructions and it says if it's red your not pregnant and if it's blue your pregnant so I went to the washroom, took the test 10 minutes later I got the results.....there it was I couldn't believe it.... I..... I was pregnant, I was going to have a baby so I grabbed the phone called tom and I told him the news and here I was expecting him to be happy and instead it was the opposite he told that.....he never really loved me, that he only wanted to fuck me and leave, he wanted nothing to do with me then he just hung up the phone and leave.... I felt heartbroken, ashamed, and stupid. this boy, this 16 year boy that I sex with that I enough trust and devotion to how he just dumped me like that.... So I told my mother about me having the baby and instead of being excited she says "you whore" and smacks the shit out and continues to hit me and smack me..... and then she packs my things and tells me to get out.... So.... I had just enough money to get my own place it was hellhole It had rats and roaches and smelled like piss but I had to call it and I hate myself because I never wanted this, I just wanted love that all so eventually I went to the hospital, I told the doctors I wanted to abort to the baby and get rid of it that I never want to see it and I aborted it..... It was the worse decision I ever made. Fort Worth, Texas January 31, 1997 After the abortion.... I discover that my father... my biological father had died, he died in a car crash and who told me this you ask? well.... my mother she told me.... I was left devastated because not did I abort my baby, my father died.... I was like why me "WHY GOD WHY, FUCK YOU, FUCK LIFE!!!!!" is what I said... I started drinking vodka and whiskey and doing drugs like heroin and cocaine to numb the pain but shit they don't work I started cutting my self. I felt the blood would relax me and help me, I started not eating (Starving myself) because I felt like I deserve all this pain I feel like I deserve all of this I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry daddy I'm sorry for everything I let you down, I hate myself, I want to die FUCK THIS SHIT, FUCK MY LIFE..... Fort Worth, Texas February 1, 1997 Her mother is watching the news and then they announce.... " The body of a young women named Emily Jones was found in her apartment home late last night" that she died, she committed suicide by hanging.... the mother broke down in tears, she cried all night.... I wonder how does it feel to lose your daughter... to lose your love one... Emily suicide note read " I'm sorry for everything, I'm Sorry for even being born, I love you all" the ultimate good bye to painful life, to a girl that deserve so much better.... She was only 16 years Old..... That's the end of the story.