102 // The 1975

Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You?

I can feel every pulse of blood flowing through my brain. I attempt to open my sore irritated eyes, one clearly fails to do so as my heavily mascara coated eyelashes seemed to have melded together.
Where the hell am I?
"Oh thank god you're not dead" an unfamiliar voice gasp in the not so far distance. A hand touches my duvet covered hip and gently begins to rock me back and forth. I slowly look up and see a girl who I can't quite yet recognise. "You alright mate?" she asks "you don't bloody look it." laughing to herself she hands me 2 white pills and a glass of water. Without hesitating I lean upright and swing the tablets into my mouth. Once taking a sip of water I immediately regret my actions as my body rebels and forces a gag up through my throat. "Oh shit" the girl is fast to react and holds a plastic bin up to my face.
"Hey...oh," Niall walks into the occupied room and sees my ghastly face. "geeze she looks black and blue."
"Yeah no shit mate, lucky she didn't poison herself" the girl snaps. There were a few moments of brief science before he mutters quietly to himself at the other side of the room
"and you still think he's a nice guy..."
"Stop blaming him! I get it! I know you don't like him and yeah it's hard not to think he's in the wrong but you can't go pointing fingers with no damn proof!" Niall remains quiet.
Who the bloody hell is he?
I still have no idea where I am or what happened but I can barley think, my mind and stomach are so loud I feel like passing out again.
After a long minute of holding back the remaining contents in my stomach my head falls back onto the pillow.
"Kelsey," Niall calls.
Oh my god this is Kelsey? No wonder she looked so familiar, I swear I'd seen her before... had I seen her before?
Through my foggy mind I try to relive the memories from last night.
"Where's Jennifer?" my voice is soft and croaky.
"She's across the hall with Harry." So that explains where I am, I'm in Niall's dorm room.
Although I can't remember the exact events, I'm sure feeling the consequences.

'Be more fun' they said, 'You'll 'have a good time' they said.

Kelsey continues to rub my hip and I can't help but worry about my actions, I don't even know this girl yet she's obviously been caring for me for God knows how long.
"I'm so sorry," I begin to sob
"Sorry for what?' she gives a soft sincere smile "you don't need to be sorry for anything"
"He's calling again." Niall announces.
"Just let the damn thing ring."
I have no idea what time it is but who even cares anymore, I can't go to class like this.
A cold hard shiver strikes my body as I realize that I never came home last night, I never fucking came home. My parents are probably worried sick about me! I'll never be allowed out again.

Everything's so overwhelming that I can help but sob to myself.
"Oh no, baby no! Stop that right now!" Kelsey moves up the bed and huddles her lean arms around my frail body. Even though I couldn't remember who she was a short while ago, I've never been so grateful.
"Could I please have my phone" I ask Niall whilst wiping my moist nose down my arms. Striking a glare to Kelsey she nods. He unplugs my phone from a cable and places it into my hand. "Fucking hell." i stare at the screen which had visibly been shattered into what seems a million pieces.
"I swear it was like that when we found you." he avoids eye contact with me and begins to play with his fingers.
"Found me?" I repeat. The two look at each other again.
"You obviously don't remember last night do you?" Niall's tone sends shivers up my spine.
What had I done last night?
"What do you mean? I remember being at the go and with... how did I get here."
"What do you last remember?" I keep thinking, but the same few scenes appear.
Arriving at the club, having various men attempting to talk to me, meeting that guy Adam who's friends with Matty and... getting drinks with those two boys and Jennifer.

I tell them step by step the event of my night and they stay quiet.
"She left with Jen at like... what was it, 10:00?" Kelsey looks up at Niall and he lets out a shrug.
"Let me double check with Jennifer." He opens the door and leaves the quiet dark room. Lifting my phone up again I unlock it.
5:58am.
Holy shit it's so early, why the heck is everyone awake?
"Have you slept?" I ask Kelsey.
"Uh, no not really." she openly admits whilst starting to bite her nails. "None of us really have.."
"None of you? Why, whats happened?"
My phone begins to ring, as I look at who it is I read the low lit screen.