Miracles

I slid my finger on the soft button from the remote in my hand shaking hand. The TV upon me showed of rom-coms I used to enjoy thoroughly back before Sgrub was created by my friend, Sollux Captor. The thought made me shiver, prompting me to tighten the grip I had on the blanket.

A creaking sound echoed throughout the room, and I slowly turned to see that a Dave Strider was leaning against the soot-colored door. His dark shades glared at me. I reacted by staring back at him and slowly walked over. After a moment of silence, Strider finally spoke, "I finished the thing with Terezi, since, you know, I'm not used to this 'black romance'."

My jaw spontaneously dropped, then I struck my middle finger to his face, "YOU WHAT?! FUCK YOU STRIDER, WHO THE HELL HAS A SENSE TO DO SOMETHI-"

Dave started to pap my face, shooshing me, "Chill out, I wasn't used to Tz dating the juggalo on the side, I couldn't understand it."

I sighed, pressing my palm on my forehead, "DAVE, IF YOU WEREN'T UP WITH THE TASK OF KEEPING WITH TROLL CULTURE, YOU SHOULDN'T OF HAD MIXED YOUR FEELINGS WITH HER."

Dave shrugged, then leaned his head to spot the playing movie, "Hell no."

I pressed the pause button on the remote, then sighed, "DAVE, I CAN'T EVEN WATCH MY FUCKING MOVIES WITHOUT YOU BARGING IN ABOUT YOUR NOOKLICKING LOVE LIFE."

Dave facepalmed, walking away to have his back turned to my face, "Yeah, I guess. Rose didn't want to talk to me. She's always hanging out with Kanaya or being drunk."

"AND THAT'S MY PROBLEM BECAUSE?" I yelled at him, arms crossing.

"Well," He started, "You said yourself that you were a 'love expert', so I thought you could help me."

"WHAT IS THERE TO HELP WITH," I shouted, "WHEN YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU HAD NO MORE INTERESTS WITH TEREZI?"

He shrugged, then motioned his hand to the paused screen, back still towards me, "It looks like you have nothing better to do." He faced me again and walked over to inspect the stream, "Holy shit, you're like the troll Egbert."

"FUCK NO, ALTERNIAN CULTURE CAN NOT EVEN COMPARE TO WHATEVER TRASH THAT BULGE HUMPING FUCK WATCHES," I said as I ran up to Strider, pushing him from the screen.

He pushed me back, "But yeah, I really didn't come here to convince you to help me with Terezi..."

"THEN WHAT THE HOLY FUCK DID YOU WANT ME FOR?"

He smiled, tilting his darkly colored glasses just so they could barely cover his eyes, "Maybe you would like a shot of troll romance with her? And that thing about pails."

My jaw dropped wide open at the remark he made, blood gushing to my cheeks, "YOU INDECENT MAGGOT. I DO NOT WISH TO RESUME ANY SLOPPY ACTIVITIES WITH HER."

An eyebrow popped up, distinct from the rest of his face, "Resume?"

"IT'S REALLY COMPLICATED WITH HER," I looked down at my shoes, "WHERE DID YOU ASSUME THAT I HAD ANY FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR HER, ANYWAY?"

"You just said it," Dave spoke with arms crossed, "And she said it was complicated with you, too."

I looked up at Dave again, "WELL, JUST BECAUSE I CARE FOR HER HAPPINESS AND WELL-BEING DOESN'T MEAN I ACQUIRE ANY FEELINGS FOR HER." I grasped at my right arm, "BESIDES, MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU AND ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE I'M SPENDING THREE FUCKING YEARS WITH?"

He sighed.

I dropped on the floor, staring sternly at Dave, but only a few seconds later, a honk articulated throughout the room, simulating the boy to look around. He started back at me and whispered, "Is that the juggalo?"