When The Bad Boy Hates You

Epilogue

Blake took my hand into his and gave me a reassuring squeeze. We were standing outside the cemetery and I had frozen solid, my limbs refusing to move. This was where Ellie was buried. My breathing spiked into hyperventilation and I clutched onto Blake's hand as if he was the only thing keeping me on this earth. I have been dreading this for months.

Even after Ellie's funeral I wasn't able to look at her grave. I didn't want to see what Lisa had made for her. She was my sister; I wanted my family to write on her headstone. But my mother didn't want it changed and I didn't know why, her name wasn't Lily Berlin, it was Ellie Darlington.

Ellie's funeral was held a month after I woke up from my coma and by that time my injuries had heeled and I had come off the strong pain killer drugs. So, the pain that consumed me after I left the hospital almost destroyed me, the reality finally came crashing over me when I arrived home, my sister was dead. It has been two months since her funeral and I decided it was finally time for me to face this, to finally see her grave. I had asked Blake to come with me because I knew that I couldn't do it alone.

I was starting at University next week and I wanted to face this pain and let her go before I start this new chapter. I needed to begin my healing process as my psychologist tells me. I have finally started seeing one due to my grief from losing Ellie and the nightmares the nightmares I have been having from Lisa's attack. That is why I needed to do this, I couldn't keep avoiding this pain or else it would stay with me forever.

Blake had been amazing to me these last few months but I had been very avoidant of him and closed off. It was his idea for me to see a psychologist. I couldn't keep wallowing in this pain or else I would lose him or he would be unhappy in our relationship.

I inhaled a deep breath and took a step into the cemetery. Blake stays by my side the entire time as I plant slow steps towards where I know her grave is located. It was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe past the lump in my throat and the fast intensity of my breaths. I glanced up at Blake and he was already looking down at me, his eyebrows were pinched together and the worry was clear in his eyes. A strength ran through me from that look and it reminded me why I was doing this, so I didn't have to see that constant worry in his eyes anymore. We were both going to start a new chapter in our lives together.

I was going to study IT at University, the same course that my sister studied for six months before she died. She had lived on campus but I decided to stay with mum, she still needed me. She was healing slowly; she has been through so much loss I don't know how she handled it but she was so strong. And a big contribution to our healing was a new member to our family. Following the news about Ellie's death my mum and I visited the orphanage, I wanted to hear more about her time there. And my mum wanted to explain to kids herself that it was Ellie who was the anonymous donor that kept them all together. 

My mother hadn't told me this either so it was a shock to me as well. Apparently when Ellie turned 18 she was given access to her real parents fortune, it was millions of dollars of corrupt, drug dealers money and Ellie didn't want a cent of it. She told my mother that she wanted to give it all to the orphanage but my mum wouldn't let her, she said she might change her mind in a few years. But Ellie never got that chance as she died six months later. So my mother was giving Ellie her final wish, the orphanage was given Ellie's inheritance. 

When Mia saw me, she cried and cried and cried about being sent away from her family at the orphanage because the younger kids too young to go to the school and board there. So they were going to be sent to foster families. My mother decided to adopt her. But it has been good for my mum to have something to focus on other than Ellie. I was sharing my room once again but with Mia this time. I didn't mind sharing my room with her, she was such a vibrant energetic soul.