CHAPTER 4
"Louis! No... That's un-fair. It's awesome when guys take their shirts off. But, for girls. No. Just, no." I say when I don't answer Zayn's question.
"So you have had sex?" Niall looks away and liam looks between us. Zayn is looking at me and so is Harry. Matt is hiding laughter.
"So the mystery guy is Niall!" Matt says. "No wonder you didn't tell me his name. Well you guys! Aww!"
"Yeah... He is. Seriously Zayn. What do you think we do when I spend the night? I mean... We don't do it every time... I'm going to stop talking now." I get up and walk into the kitchen. Some one follows me and I find it's Matt.
"You mean, they didn't know?" She asks me whispering.
"NO!! Zayn is way over protective. And you know how I feel about Harry. I just... I don't know." I say sitting on the counter.
"Do you regret it? Is he good?" She asks smiling. This is why she is my best friend. She can take the worst situations and make them better.
"No! Of course I don't regret it. I trust him, and I didn't ruin our friendship. I love him, I just don't think it's going to work. Ya know?" I ask Matt. She probably doesn't know. But she is the kind of person who is wise because she watches TV. A lot.
"I don't know. I'm sorry. But, what I do know is that the guys are on the stair listening to us. Say your pregnant." She whispers ad covers her mouth.
"I think your the only person I can trust with this. I don't know how to tell the boys... But, I'm pregnant. I found out 2 days ago. Matt, I'm going to have a child. What do I do?" I ask. We are such good actresses. We don't smile or anything. We are completely serious.
"Well, I think you need to tell them. At least tell Niall. He is the father after all. You guys are adorable together. This could be a big step for you both. I'm so happy for you!" She walks over and hugs me. At that moment the guys walk in. Trying to hold Zayn back. This is gonna get good.
"Madelyn Jane Malik Howards." He used both names. I am in deep shit. LOL! "What do you mean your pregnant?" Zayn is so pissed. Matt puts her arm around me.
"Is there another way to mean your pregnant? I mean, she has been moody lately. And it makes sense." Matt says looking into Zayn's eyes.
"Maddie. Are we really going to be parents?" Niall asking stepping towards me.
"Hahaha. That's what you guys get for ease dropping. I would be flipping out if I was preggers. You all know me. And besides, we haven't... Done anything in like a year. I couldn't be pregnant. Could I?" I jump of the counter. "No, it's been to long."
"The fact that you lost your virginity this young says something, Maddie." They all look at me when Louis says this.
"Yeah, cuz you guys are all virgins. I can have sex with whoever I want. It's my choice and my risk." I'm getting all defessive. I hate when people take choices from me. I've been this way since I found out I was adopted.
"She has a point, Zayn. Think about it. If she gets pregnant, it's her fault. Not ours. Well, not mine, or Liams', or yours, or louis'. It would be Nialls child."
"So how about them Yankees?" I say changing the subject.
"I heard they won." Says Louis.
"Ha-ha. It was a subject change question." My phone vibrates. It's a text from Harry.
FROM: CURLY Q! ;)
So... You and Nialler, huh?
TO: CURLY Q! ;)
It's not like that anymore. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Can't you guys just leave the damn subject alone now?
I put my phone in my pocket. And grab my jacket out of the closet. Matt does the same.
We are going to the mall. Alone. Follow me, and I will personally see to it that you are killed." We walk out of the apartment and go to the mall. We don't say anything until we get there. It's been an interesting day. And, honestly I just want to go to bed. So, when we get home, we ignore the questions from the guys. We walk to my room and close the door. We put on our pj's, lay down and fall asleep. Well, Matt falls asleep. I get out of bed and sneak down to Zayn's room. He isn't in there. They guys probably stayed the night. I see a pack of his cigarettes on the dresser. I grab one out and grab his lighter. I have never smoked before. Zayn leave the apartment when he does. I put on some flip flops and walk out into the hallway. I walk into the bathroom and light it up. I inhale and cough really loud. I keep doing it. It makes the stress go away. When im done with the one I had, I went to the room and grabbed the whole pack. I just want to make today go away.
I don't think about what I'm doing. I just do it. I don't hear Liam get up and follow me. I don't see him come into the bathroom. I light another one. I put it to my lips and cry. I smoke and cry .I sink to the floor, by the bud of my other cigarette. I feel like throwing up. So I stand up and look in the mirror. I see Liam standing there. I turn around and look into his eyes. I don't say anything. There is nothing to say. When my cigarette is done, I drop it on the floor and put it out with the toe of my slippers. I go to light another one, but, Liam comes over and takes the pack. He understands, so he doesn't yell. He doesn't say anything yet. We sit on the floor and I cry into his shoulder. I smells horrid in here, but we don't leave yet.
"Maddie, I understand that talking today hurt. But this isn't the answer. This is bad." He rubs my back, comforts me. He is the really the daddy of our group.
"I- I know. But, now, they all hate me. Niall will probably never be able to talk to me again. And Harry... He probably thinks I'm a whore! I guess I am. When I was done with Niall... Oh god. What have I done?" I cry some more. It has been about an hour since we both left. Niall will be up any minute to make breakfast. He will notice that Liam is missing and come look for us. Or, worse wake up everyone so they also notice I'm gone. They will probably think we are having sex, too.
"We should probably go back. They will worry about us." Liam says while helping me to my feet. We walk to my apartment. When we open the door we see all the lights on. Shit. I still smell, Liam has the pack. I have blood shot eyes and I already look like crap. Zayn see's us and he walks over and hugs me. When he notices my sent, and see's Liam with the pack, he back's up.
"What did you have my little sister do, Liam?" He is so mad. Even more mad than before.
"Zayn, stop. I was smoking in the bathroom and Liam found me. OK? I'm the mess up. I just wanted the stress to go away. Today was shit. It's my fault it was. Can you just respect the fact that I thought this would help? It did. I feel better. I smell like crap, but I feel better. You do it, why can't I? I'm 16. I can handle a few things on my own." I never thought I could say this to my brother. But, it's the truth.
Everyone just looks at me. I look back. Matt is still asleep. I don't have to tell her I smoked about 4 cigarette's. She would hate me. Niall looks like he want's to say something. But he is smart enough not to.
"Don't look at me like I belong in a Asylum! I am a friecking person!! I am going to shower. Matt will not hear about this. I'm not a kid anymore. Why can't I make these choices?" I say. I start to cry again and walk into my room. Matt is sitting up in bed. She was crying. She gets out of bed and hugs me. I know she smells the smoke. But she just hugs me. Then lets me take a shower. When I get out she has written me a note:
Dear Maddie,
I went home so you could rest. Love you and if you need, me call.
Love <Matt>
I go out into the kitchen and ignore the guys. I grab food, my laptop and phone chargers and walk into my room. I do not plan on leaving my room for a while. Why does life have to be so hard? Why can't everything go as planned. The way you plan it? Why?
I check twitter and notice the guys all tweeted that I wasn't ok.. I have like a thousand get better tweets. I smile then put my laptop on the floor. I need a nap. A nice, long nap. I fall asleep 5 minutes later. and have good dreams. Finally, something good.
