Nochelle Oneshots

Dear Diary

Noah's Perspective:

July 5th, 2018

Dear Diary,
I've been feeling horrible lately about... everything. My mom's situation has been even worse. Her sickness isn't good, I'm scared. It hurts me every day when I get up and I see her in pain. She's usually so strong and never lets anything hurt her. She isn't herself now.

Things with Jacquie haven't been good either. As soon as I told her about my mom, she's been too clingy. Always wanting to be near me, texting me 20 times a day. I never thought I'd miss the days where she'd only text me once.

She claims that she understands it all, but she doesn't. She changes the subject into what she interprets it as, not what I'm actually trying to talk about. And she always brings up her mom. But her mom isn't dying.

I broke up with her yesterday because I couldn't deal with her anymore.

Today, when I was waiting for the bus after dance—my mom can't pick me up anymore—Richelle came and sat beside me. Her car was in the repair shop, she told me. "Otherwise I'd never take the bus," she laughed.

We talked about a lot of things, and somehow, my mom came up when she asked how my family was. I told her everything. About the diagnosis, the treatments, how worried I was originally and still. She didn't say anything throughout most of it.

——————

"So yeah," I mumbled after I explained.

She didn't speak, didn't move. But wasn't emotionless. I could see she was thinking about it all. She looked down, subconsciously trying to hide her tearing eyes. Her lips parted like she wanted to say something, but quickly shut.

Instead, she leaned forward, grabbing my neck and back and bringing me into a warm embrace. I reciprocated the action, putting my arms around her.

I felt myself take a sharp inhale, then let it out completely, sighing into the hug. She just kept gripping my shirt, her fingers scrunching as she willed herself not to sob. She felt it like I did, I knew.

My mom was hers too, my family was hers too, hypothetically. She spent more time at my house when she was little than her own, and my family practically raised her. My mom was there every time she needed a hug, or had a girl problem, or anything like that.

And there was a possibility, even if it was a small one now, that my mom would never be there for those things again.

I wasn't even going to tell Richelle this today. I never wanted to tell her. Richelle was so strong, so determined to act like she was alright all the time. I'd only ever seen her cry once before, and it was the worst day of my life. I knew that I'd see her cry again if I told her.

And the small trickle of wetness on the back of my neck told me that I was right. I cupped the back of her head with my free hand and brushed my fingers through her hair. "Richelle, please don't cry," I whispered.

"I'm not," she murmured unconvincingly.

"You are."

She trailed her small fingers across my back as she let go of me, moving to the other side of the bench. With no source of warmth, she shivered and crouched where she sat, holding her legs to her chest as if the motion was keeping her together. "I'm not," she said more firmly. "I'm not crying."

"Yes you are. And it's okay, I've cried too, Riche."

"That's the thing, Noah. You should be crying. She's your mom. I shouldn't be."

"Yes you should. She means nearly as much to you as she does to me." I tried to assure her, attempting to bring her into a hug again.

"Yeah, but I... I didn't listen to her. The one thing she ever told me to do, I didn't, Noah."

"I'm sure it's not that big of a deal. Look, why don't you come and see her with me?" I suggested.

"No," she said through a final sob. "I just remembered, I have to go meet Elliot. Bye, Noah."

——————

Every time she goes with Elliot, my heart hurts a little. I know that she's happy with him, and I'm jealous. Of so many things. Their happiness, which I know I'll never have with Jacquie. Their love, which I know I won't have with Jacquie. And him. Because he gets to love Richelle.

There was one time that I made her cry. Once. And that one time, I messed up more than I'd ever thought possible.

She told me something I never, ever expected to come out of her mouth. When we were 15, right after I broke up with Abi, Richelle told me that she liked me.

At first I brushed it off, like it was nothing. Then I realized she was serious... and I started laughing. I remember her face contorting, and how she grabbed her hair to cover her teary eyes as she ran out of the room.

I was so stupid that day. The reason I laughed was because I couldn't believe that someone as amazing as her would ever like someone like me. She took it the wrong way, and I never got another chance. Even our friendship faded.

I knew I would never get another chance, so I started dating again. The second worst mistake I ever made. I'll never forget the look on her face when Amanda and I told the team that we were together. And the heartbreak in her eyes when I wanted to dance with Jacquie.

Everything that Elliot has with her, I want. I want it, but I can't ever have it.

Everything sucks, Diary. My mom's sick, I broke up with my girlfriend, and Richelle still hates me. I

My hand paused on the paper. I had no idea what to write next. Nothing made sense, nothing else fit. I didn't have anything else to say.

I got up from my place at my desk and made my way to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

"Hi, Noah," my mom said.

"Hi." I never looked at her anymore. I couldn't bear it, it was too hard. I grabbed an apple and quickly walked to the living room, where I sat on the leather chair by the window.

I decided to be brave and text Richelle.
________________________________

Hey

Hi

What did you mean earlier
when you said that my mom
asked you to do something?

She asked me to do this
________________________________

I had no idea what she meant. Until I turned around in my seat and she was standing in front of me. "W-what are you doing?"

"This."

And she kissed me. With passion and sweetness and what felt like... love.

When we pulled away, I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw my mom, smiling with a tear in the corner of her eye.

I kept my hand on Richelle's waist and faced her. "You asked her to do this?"

She nodded, and Richelle blushed. "Took you long enough, honey. I'm glad I got to see it."

Author's Note:
I'm not really sure what the end is but I kinda like it :)