Trans Vent Story Thing

1

When I was twelve I had moved away from my small town for six months. When I came back I found that through the distance I had fallen in love with my best friend at the time (we'll refer to her as N because I'm pretty sure she hates me now).

She was the only person in the town I'm from that I really had contact with. I had also during this time fallen into a deep depression and started hating myself, both my mentality and physicality. I had figured this was normal because I was missing everyone I knew and cared about.

When I came back from being away everything was the same, I still hated myself. So when I confessed my feelings to N she was surprised to say the least, but after a few days she said that she returned my feelings. And so it was, we were the first openly "lesbian" couple in town. I say it like that because at the time both of us identified as bisexual.

And we had some long talks about how we both felt about our relationship and what we wanted. One night while having one of these talks the topic of why I was always the Dom came up, I had said "that it felt good for me, but I was upset that I couldn't please her the same a man could" so we kept talking about it and it was decided that "I was the boy" it again felt good to be seen somewhat as a man rather than a woman.

When I had gone home after spending the night at N's house, I told my mom the verdict and she believed it was just a phase. Although the next year I came out as pansexual instead of bisexual, because even though I loved N deeply (more so than I admit), it was starting to fall apart and I wanted to keep as many options open as possible.

I'm not sure what had happened, I honestly blame the fact that the both of us had depression. It was wearing on the both of us and at the time I wasn't strong enough to shoulder it.