Voldy's Muggle Adventure

I was lounging on my grand throne, surveying my Death-Eaters with my best contempt face. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Salazar, this is boring! As a distraction, I thought about my favorite fantasy- sauntering away from Hogwarts which was in flames, with a smirk on my face and my robes flying behind me, looking so cool! That reminds me- I should grow my hair, so that I can wear a spiky hairstyle on that day.

I was rudely interrupted from my fantasies by Lucius and his gelled locks. He just doesn't get that spiky hair beats horrible gelled hair any day. But I didn't tell him this, so that I'd be the only one rocking the spiked look.

Lucius was followed by his son Draco, another gel abuser. "My lord!" said Lucius. "My son has found a new way to kill Potter that doesn't involve sending assassins into Hogwarts who always fail- I mean, this method will be more successful!"

"You mean to say your idea is better than mine?" I replied icily. He interrupted my fantasies, so he needed to be punished.

Lucius, being the cowardly man he is, trembled. Draco answered for him. "The great and amazing Dark Lord! My father didn't mean anything. He just thought this idea would suit your awesomeness more than the others."

"Okay, then. What is the idea?" I asked.

"Yesterday, the last day before our summer holidays, I was risking my life to spy on Potter and his dumb sidekicks. I heard him complain to the Weasley about some people called the 'Dursleys'. Weasley hit him on his back in his primitive way and told him that he'd rescue him from 'Number 4 Privet Drive'. I thus concluded that that must be Potter's safe house during the summer. My idea is very simple- we must go to this place and kill Potter once and for all! Then, we can put the memory in a pensieve and watch it for the rest of our lives!"

The plan was passable and, I have to admit, the pensieve idea was a nice touch. "Excellent!" I said. "Let's pack our brooms and torture devices and we'll fly away! Hmm, Potter has already seen us with our masks- do you think it'll still be intimidating?"

"Wait, My Lord!" Said Draco. "Going on our brooms will alert the Order and that silly Dumbledore. Do you think it'll be better if we disguise ourselves?"

"Then we must wear those idiotic Muggle clothes. Lucius, Draco and Carrow, come with me! Let's execute my awesome plan!"

Two voices started arguing. Oh, Alecto and Amycus. I'd forgotten that they were twins. "I give you ten minutes to settle your disputes in this room. The winner will meet Lucius and me in the gardens. Now, Death-Eaters, get out of the room."

***

Alecto met us in the garden with her broom and a very haughty expression. She had a bright pink heart on her head with 'Lockhart' written in it, but didn't seem aware of its existence.

"What happened to Amycus?" asked Lucius.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Lucius. He's in the bathroom, and won't be leaving anytime soon." she cackled evilly. Never get into a fight with Alecto.

"Okay, minions," I said. "Do any of you have any idea of how to get Muggle clothes?"

"I know!" said Lucius. "We'll break into a Muggle's house and steal them!"

The idea seemed tolerable. Meaning, it definitely wasn't Lucius'. Draco must've told him this idea. Any other day, I would've tortured him, but this time, I let it pass. I was full of excitement as I had two super important things to do- kill Potter and show off my awesomeness.

***

"How do you think these Muggles wear their clothes?" I asked.

My minions and I had flooed into Alecto's house, from where we'd walked to the nearest Muggle street, which was five whole kilometres away. We walked into an bright Muggle shop filled with the horrible clothes Muggles wore.