The Bank Robbery

Part 1

​The scene starts with Shayne, Damien, Courtney, and Olivia sitting in the back of a van getting ready to rob a bank.

Shayne: Alright, let's go through the checklist, review the plan, then rob this bank. Olivia, you have the bag for the money?

Olivia: Right here. *Holds up bag*

Shayne: Is that a Paw Patrol backpack?

Olivia: What. It's all I had.

Shayne: Whatever, it'll do. Everyone have their guns?

Courtney: Yup.

Olivia: Got it.

Damien: Oh yeah.

Shayne: What the...Damien! Is that a flamethrower?!

Damien: ...no...

Shayne: Dude, I can see the warning label. It says warning flamethrower may cause death or serious injury.

Damien: Alright, it's a flamethrower.

Shayne: Of course it is. What else would it be. Everyone have their ski masks? Let's put 'em on. (Stops and stares at Courtney) Courtney...why are you wearing a Beyonce mask?

Courtney: Well I went shopping for a ski mask but when I saw this I knew the right choice to make. If you have a choice between Beyonce and a ski mask, you always choose Beyonce.

Olivia and Damien: Oh yeah/very true/good choice

Shayne: Nope, take it off. Here I have an extra *hands over mask*

Courtney: Ugh fine.

Shayne: Damien!! Really!?! A Darth Vader mask?!

Damien: Well I already bought it for my Halloween costume. Why spend extra money on a ski mask?

Olivia: Aww man I was gonna be Darth Vader this year.

Damien: Oh no, you still can. It's a joke costume. I'm dressing as Supreme Court Justice Darth Bader Ginsburg.

Olivia: Hah! Good one.

Shayne: Take it off. Here ya go *hands over mask*. Ok, here's the plan. If you look through the window you can see there's a guard on each side of the entrance and they are heavily armed.

Courtney: Dang, are those semi-auto shotguns?

Damien: That's what they look like to me. And the guy on the right looks pretty big. You can tell he worked out a lot in high school.

Shayne: Anyway! We do not want to get into a shootout so I planned a distraction. Once they're distracted, we'll subdue the guards and grab the money.

Courtney: What's the distraction?

Shayne: Oh, you'll see. They should be arriving any min...*Shayne's phone rings* hello...hey what's up...aww dude that sucks I hope she's okay...alright man take care, bye. Well the distraction just called and said he can't make it. He has to take his mom to the hospital. The doctor thinks she may have Legionnaire's disease.

Courtney: Aww poor thing.

Damien: Dang that's rough.

Olivia: He is such a good son.

Shayne: Yeah, he's a friggin' angel. Any ideas for a distraction?

Damien: How about I walk up to them with my ski mask on and say *mimic deep man voice* "Hello good sir, do you know where the nearest ski resort is? I would like to try out my new mask." And while they're helping me, we'll whack 'em on the head and tie them up.

Shayne: Ehh, it's an option. Any others?

Courtney: I could do a nip slip!

Olivia: Oh, me too! I wanna do a nip flip!

Courtney: No, it's a nip slip.

Olivia: Well I wanna do a flip *pretends to lift
up shirt and awkwardly shake around* like this.

Courtney: Oooh, you mean like this? *Mimics Olivia*

Olivia: Yeah, there ya go! Put a little more flip in it. Yeah girl, flip them burgers!

Shayne: You would be immediately arrested for public indecency.

Damien: I could slip a nip.

Shayne: No.

Damien: Dude, I could totally seduce those guards! I could slip a nip...give it a flip...make it dip...potato chip...

Olivia: Calm down Dr. Seuss.

Shayne: No one's slipping!... flipping!... everyone keep their shirt on!!

Courtney: We could drive the van through the front door.

Shayne: The van. Our only getaway vehicle. Through the front door. Smashed beyond repair.

Courtney: Dude, we're about to be millionaires. We'll just buy another van.

Shayne: Ok...first off...we're not going to be millionaires. We will have a lot of money but not...

Damien: Uhh guys. The bank just closed.

Shayne: What.

Damien: Yeah, the security guards just locked the front door and walked away.

Courtney: Oh no, what now?

Olivia: Wanna try again tomorrow? Same time?

Shayne: *Defeated sigh* Yeah...I guess...see you tomorrow...