First Argument

First Argument: Part 1

The first time we had an argument.
I didnt expect it would be this soon.
I mean I've known him for years since our cadet years but people really need to live with each other to really know each other.

It had been a few months after we got married. We were now living in Liberio. We chose Liberio because it's the nearest to Paradis. Father gifted us a house because Armin, obviously didn't have a house because he didn't even have a job. Couldn't blame him though. Being a refugee from his own country does make things harder. He didn't even have identification papers because Paradis doesn't have one, being isolated and duped into believing they were the last bastion of humanity for hundreds of years. He didn't have a job but he's quite a speaker and had built this persona of peace advocate.

I didn't know what I saw in him when I married him a few months ago. It's true we love each other. And he's so charming. I mean he's weak, he can't even win a fight with Eren whom I could beat with my eyes closed. But Armin, as meek and physically weak as he was, was one of the bravest people I know. And he saw something in me that I never thought I had. Thus the start of my rollercoaster emotion for him.

But I digress. When I returned home after work(dojo instructor) and the house was in a mess! I mean with his papers, books and pens strewn all around. I always picked up after him. I tried ignoring this bad habit of him, reminding him again and again the reason we have bookshelves and tables but once Armin's buried his nose into a book, tough luck! Only Mikasa could pull that button nose out of the book and make him move. I've repeatedly told him that I'm stressed if the house is in mess. He said it's easier for him and he would clear it up. But he never did.

And he's so picky with his food. If he didn't like it, he ignored it. Of course coming from Paradis, their diet was more on bread and meat but Marleyans love seafood. I took turns preparing dishes with him but every time I cook seafood, it became wasted. Money was tight and he didn't have a job. If only he was not picky, we could save a lot on food expenses.

That night when I returned home, the house was quiet and lights were off. I came home late bcuz I had a night class. It was a bad day. A parent came and ambushed me at school claiming I hurt his son. Master Kramer, the headmaster, of course defended me but still I had to stop coming for a few weeks to lessen the parent's anger.

Came home in the dark and I stepped on something on the floor. A pen. It hurt like hell too. Lights on and I saw the mess, as usual. Meanwhile I smelled something rotten coming from the kitchen. Went straight to the table and discovered a rotten fish dish left uneaten. It boiled my blood.
I went to his study and saw him sitting at his table beside the window. He was gazing at the stars. He looked so pretty and his deep blue gray eyes almost reflected the dark sky. Usually I would melt at such view but I was angry.

I slammed the door behind me and that surprised him. As soon as he saw me, he smiled and called my name. I ignored him, changed my work clothes into my comfort clothes and went out of the room.

I sat at the sofa at the living room. Fuming. And my clueless husband came and sat beside me, clinging to my arm. I pulled my arm and with loud hmmph, went to the kitchen table, took the rotten dish and threw it with its ceramic plate into the bin. Then I sat back at the sofa. Armin went into the kitchen. I heard a gasp from Armin as he clattered the bin and saved the plate. Unfortunately, it could not be saved as it was chipped at the edges."What a shame" exclaimed Armin. Those words just pushed my temperature up.

I started nagging. 'You know for once, you could help out in the house you know." Armin looked at me and blinked his eyes. I continued,
" You could've eaten the food you know even if you dislike it. I was very tired but I still cooked for you"
Armin was still quiet.
"That fish was not cheap. You didnt help in the expense so at least help me out with the house work"

Armin stared at me. I glared back at him. After a few moments he blinked and his face was expressionless.

"It's not my fault I can't find a job. I'm sorry you married a man who can't put food on the table"

Armin's tone was so soft but he hastily grabbed his long jacket and disappeared out of the door. I thought he's going to the beach. He always goes there when he's in a bad mood or something. Usually I would accompany him. But not tonight. Tonight was the first time we had an argument.

Later that morning, I heard him coming home. He opened the door to the bedroom and the light from the kitchen woke me up. He came in quietly, changed his clothes but he smelled of alcohol and vomit. I was thoroughly disappointed. He might have gone to have a drink with Jean and Connie. He laid beside me. I wanted to turn around and face him but I was waiting for him to call me or just touch me. He didn't do any. I heard his steady breathing as I slowly fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up and prepared breakfast but he still wasn't up. He slept into the afternoon while I went to find work. I didn't get the chance to tell him what happened to my job at the dojo.When I got home, it was not as messy but we didn't talk to each other. We were just minding our business. Him with his books and papers and me with my new job, a tour guide. I had to study maps and read books on travelling. I would love to study the atlas of Marley with Armin. But he didn't speak to me at all. I was hurt. Later that night I went to bed at 10pm but he went out again at 11pm. He returned home at the same time as yesterday, reeking of alcohol and vomit. Again, he changed his clothes and laid beside me without touching or speaking to me.

For a week now, we had not spoken to each other. It's funny if u think about it, how we manage to carry our daily routines without needing to speak to each other. And every night now, he came home smelling like alcohol and vomit. I was so sad that last night I cried quietly into my pillow as my drunk husband slept in his drunken stupor unaware.

The next morning, I left him in bed and went out to get coffee. I couldn't stay inside the house with a man who I think, has stopped loving me. Is this how it ends? did we even love each other in the beginning? Was the 4 years talking to a crystal me, a lie? I agree we married too soon, as many say. But I've fallen for him for seven years. And he's a war hero who became the colossal. Surely there are other girls who liked and admired him. But he chose me. And have you seen him? With that demeanour and pretty face, who could resist? That's why only weeks after the Battle of Heaven and Earth, he proposed to me and I accepted. Was that a mistake? Or was it hubris that I willed myself to think he really missed me? Did I love him more than he loved me?

As I sat down at the corner of the shop and had my coffee in front of me, my heart felt like it was being wrung like a cloth. Suddenly I heard a cute 'hiyee...'I turned around to see Pieck standing behind me. She kissed me on the cheek and sat in front of me. As soon as I saw her, I burst out crying and tears fell down my cheeks, coursing like a river. Pieck, shocked, moved and sat beside me and I cried on her shoulder. "Oh dear what did that twink do to you?! Tell me everything Annie..." After I was done, Pieck said "do you need me to kick him in the nuts, cuz I can" The image of Armin in pain and Pieck's satisfied face for inflicting the pain was so funny, I smiled. Pieck wiped my tears with her hands and soothed me by saying it would get better. It always does, she said. Before I went our own way, Pieck, she advised me to follow Armin when he goes out at night and see what he does. If he has changed, then he needs help. And if nothing can be done about it, then... I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to spy on him. I wanted to trust him. But we have not been talking, and THIS IS ARMIN. This baffled me a lot. He loved speaking, talking. Some mocked him saying that was his special superpower. But I must admit, he does have ways with words.