Do I even know you?

Chapter 1

WARNING:

CONTAINS MENTION OF PHYSICAL ABUSE, TRAUMA, DEATH, AND STRONG LANGUAGE.

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"Amrita!" Dev's voice boomed;  livid with anger. "How dare you say that?"

Tears streaming down her face, Amrita couldn't herself believe what she had just said. Her cheek was throbbing from his slap.

"You know I wouldn't even think of anyone like that, let alone your mother, you pushed me Dev. You always do this" she stammered in between sobs.

Dev stepped forward, furious "and YOU blame me and get away as always. Have you known anything better? She is my mother how dare you speak ill of her?" 

"Same applies to my mother too Dev. You just spoke ill about her and still stand in front of me and argue that what you did was right. You have been living with me with that suspicion in your mind all these twenty five years?" She was disgusted.

"Just shut up, don't instigate me..." he warned.

"What if I do? Either you verbally abuse me or threaten me with divorce right" the physical pain was equal to the verbal daggers he hurled at her every time.

 "I don't know why I married you. You're a good for nothing. Can't work efficiently, don't know to manage a family. Have you heard your voice? You speak like a man... and look at yourself!" he held her hand comparing their complexion. "People call us chess board Amrita, black and white" he snickered.
"you got lucky when I agreed to marry you, otherwise you would have been baby-sitting your depressed divorcee brother life long".

Even while they were newly weds, they had lot of fights and arguments. Amrita's mother always advised her to keep calm and adjust. Innumerous fights and arguments over the years, several rules and restrictions. So many abuses, so many insults, so much of hardships, constant comparison with his mother, sister and other 'smart' women. She 'adjusted and complied' to keep the family together.

She put up with everything, she worked hard to manage bank job and home, learnt new cuisines, new way of life in the US. Now here they are back in India after twenty five years, still their equation was the same. Talking ill about her mother was the final trigger. He quoted his mother's cousin who eavesdropped on a conversation between Amrita's relatives during the wedding.

 Being a single mother; widowed or divorced is a fucking curse in this society! Makes you an eligible target of slandering.

 Her mother struggled a lot as a widow to raise her and her brother, after fighting to save her dad who went down with stroke at a young age and eventually passed away after a year. She managed to get both of them to finish their degree by borrowing money and doing overtime at a small clinic, helping out neighbours with baby-sitting services during weekends and holidays.

When she wanted to know who had said this, he refused to reveal the identity of the person.

"In spite of such a scandalous image, I decided not to ask anything and continued to live with you, that shows my magnanimity" the ego in him spoke.

She very calmly asked him, "was this the reason you called me as bitch or slut when you wanted to silence me during an argument?"

He riled up, "when you go all quiet and act egoistically what do you expect me to think?" 

"It's called being hurt and being withdrawn Dev and in case you didn't notice the pattern, I always end up being so when I'm extremely hurt, by you."

That was the one time when she couldn't suppress the bitterness and rage that rose inside her, unknowing that she would regret it later.