DO YOU REMEMBER ME (CHAELISA) COMPLETED

Chapter 5

Chaeyoung's POV

When we got home, I took a small dish rag, soaked it and scrubbed the blood off the floor of my room. I found my bloody razor blade and snapped it in half. I tossed it carelessly. One piece landed on the table and the other piece slid under my bed.

By the time all the evidence was erased, it was 7 am. I took a nice long hot shower to settle my nerves and ate a nice big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My absolute favorite cereal in the entire world. I slid on my converse and headed out the door. Everything was still soaked. The ditches were full with rain water and I almost slipped on one of the puddles in the road.

I used that time that I had alone walking to the park to think about things. Think about yesterday. Think about the hospital and L. What he’d said and how hurt he’d been. How he had stayed by my side until I woke. Even Jisoo hadn’t done that. She was asleep. Not a care in the world. That only further proved my point; she was fake. A liar.

I looked down at the gauze around my arms. The blood splatters on them, right where my wrists were. How stupid I had been. It made me sick to think about it.

When I’d reached the park, it was around 8 or 9. I found L in the same place I’d found him last time: asleep under that tree. As I got closer, I heard sniffling. He was crying. I ran to him and sat beside him.

He twitched a little and his sniffles gave way to sobs.

“Chaeyoung …” He whispered, still in a deep sleep.

“L. It’s just a dream.” I whispered in reply, as if he could hear me. I put my hand on his and he flinched back, as if burned. I knew he was asleep and couldn’t control himself, but the gesture hurt me a little inside.

“Chaeyoung… I… know…”

“Know what?” I asked, watching him intently.

“I’m sorry.” His eye twitched.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I smiled at him, even though he couldn’t see it.

He jerked a little, crying harder. He slipped his hand into mine, “I… love you… I have… always… loved you… I’m sorry!” He whispered so quietly, I almost didn’t catch it.

I kept quiet, fighting a smile.

His tears came faster. He started breathing hard and he was panicking. In his sleep? I wrapped my arms tight around him and ran my fingers through his hair, whispering into his ear, “It’s okay. It’s just a dream. Wake up, L, just wake up. It’s okay!”

He sobbed into my shirt for a few minutes before relaxing again. A while passed before he pulled his hand from mine and rolled over. I didn’t know why, but this gesture seemed to stab me in the chest as well.

Another hour or so slipped by before he woke, rubbing his eyes. He jumped a little when he saw me staring at him, “Chaeyoung! How long have you been sitting there?”

I chuckled, “About an hour.”

“I’m sorry! It must’ve been boring…” He sat up, leaning against the tree. There were bags under his eyes. Whatever he’d been dreaming about, it wasn’t good.

“Not really.”

His eyes went big, “Oh, no. Was I sleep-talking again?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry all you said was my name and that you were sorry.”

He sighed in relief. I’d save him the embarrassment from me hearing him say he loved me. But now I knew. And that gave me some comfort on the inside that I needed.