Me, Myself and I

Part 1

"hey rose" 

"hey, jane" I greet my friend while walking to school. I stared at the building with a blank expression. I don't hate school because it shaped me into who I am and I like who I am. but it's the reason for my tears over the years. 

my last year. after this, you can leave. you are done. just one more year. 

I took a deep breath and opened the door. when I looked towards my friend and didn't realize she was talking about her summer. 

"-so we decided on breaking up now cause we both don't think we could do long-distance" she finishes. 

"that's really mature of you guys. though I think you guys will end up together maybe later down the road" while keeping my books in my locker for 4 years now. 

"yeah I hope so" she takes a deep breath like all her emotions will float off with a single breath. I tried it really doesn't. 

"hey jane, you have to trust him. if you really believe in your love then it will happen. ok? " I say with a smile and my hand on her shoulder. she returns the smile. 

"so how's Dane" she tries changing the topic. 

"I really don't know. he went to this beach house during the summer and barely texted me. I hope he's ok" I say slowly. 

"Hey, baby" I feel hands around my waist. a smile instantly goes on my face when I hear the familiar voice. 

I turn around his arms and kiss him. I looked deep into his blue eyes. the same eyes I fell in love with for 3 years.  I love this boy so much that I would do anything for him. 

"How was your summer," I asked with a smile. 

"amazing" his smile doesn't reach his eyes and I mentally sighed because I know what's gonna happen when we are alone. 

I just nodded and he understood. his gentle smile showed me how thankful he was that I understood him. 

we waved goodbye and went to our classes. as soon as he left my vision I dropped my smile. if I didn't show him that I was happy then it would damper his mood. 

I can't remember the last time I really smiled or laughed. but if I didn't then the people around me would be affected. 

I tried once. I tried showing people that I wasn't exactly happy and their mood just got worse evidently. since then I just never tried anymore. 

and if you were thinking about my family then don't because my dad left last year after totally wrecking our family apart. my brother left for college after that and has never contacted us. my mom threw herself in her work and won't say a single word to me. like literally not a single word. I forgot how her voice sounds at this point. I still try though. 

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"rose" I heard my friends yell for me. I immediately smiled and rushed to them. 

"Hey guys," I say while sitting down. as soon as I sat Dane put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. it's all an act. I can see through his fake smile. I can see through all their smiles. they call me the rock of the group because they all come to me when they're sad, but I can't do the same for them.  

we all caught up and I cracked my jokes. I would say I'm charming and know how to disguise my emotions very well. I take pride in it. 

"wanna hang after school" Jake asks. 

"Nah Rose and I have plans" smirking at me and I smile at him in return. because I know what you were thinking it's definitely not that. 

"oooooh they gonna fuck" Jane giggles. I just lightly slapped her arm and walked away. 

"just one more year" I whisper to myself when I'm by myself. 

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"man school is exhausting," I said while unlocking my house door with Dane behind me. 

"yeah," he mumbled. 

"ok go to my room and I will get the ice cream" I smiled my goofy smile which works all the time. he smiled lightly at my smile. 

"don't break. you got this" I whispered right before opening the door to my room. I placed the ice cream near him. 

"Now tell me what's wrong my love," I say.

and that opened the entire damn. 

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It's been 8  hours since we started and he is sleeping in my arms right now. 

yup this is how my routine goes. if it's not Dane then it's Jane or Jake or any other person from our group.