Me, Myself and I

Part 6

I tried to sleep. I just couldn't. 

my friends wouldn't talk to me cause they think I cheated on Dane. 

I'm scared that the boys from the team would show up any second and you know what. 

I couldn't call anyone for support. I finally lost everything well except my job. the elders were so nice and friendly. 

It's been a week working there. 

I have been thinking about relocating. giving this house for rent and changing my school. 

I don't care if there are a couple of months left. 

I don't have anything else left in this school. I sent my applications to a couple of schools now I'm waiting for an acceptance. I applied for scholarships because I can't afford tuition now. 

and I am currently searching for a real estate agent. I think one of my mom's friends is a real agent. she might do it for free. hopefully. 

wait 

I would have to explain my situation to her. 

and I need to clear the house. 

ok here's the plan. I first see if I get an acceptance for any school in the next month. if I don't then I find a website in which I can give the house for rent. 

I'm sure there are plenty. 

I decided to take a hot shower cause it would relax me. 

I removed all my clothes and looked at myself in the mirror. 

slight eyebags. body structure still the same. I never skip a meal. food is bae. 

the bruises are starting to fade. but Dane's handprint still there on my arm and face. 

I stepped into the shower and let the hot water rest my muscles. 

I stayed in there till my hands were pruny. immediately changing into some sweats and a baggy shirt to save me from the change in atmosphere. 

I crawled back into my bed hopefully having more success in sleeping this time. just then I heard a knock on the front door. I quickly grabbed my phone and put 911 on speed dial and my classic pocket knife in my sock. 

I went towards the door slowly and saw through the keyhole. it was my brother.

was he gonna beat my ass again. 

I opened the door slowly.

"frank?" I asked him. he looked at me with a blank expression.

"let me in" he stood there with his hands in his pocket like the last time he was here he didn't almost kill me. 

I opened the door wide open regardless. What's the worst that could happen right?

"Why are you here," I asked him void of emotion.

"Why did you let us" he looked at his feet. a habit he had since we were kids to look at his feet when nervous. 

I immediately knew what he was talking about. 

"because you guys needed a way to let all your frustrations go. thought I wish it was another way" I shrugged. 

"wow," he looked at me in awe. 

I turned behind me to check if anyone was there. was he looking at me in awe?

"I'm looking at you, dumbass" he rolled his eyes playfully but my body was on alert. after last time I don't think my body treats him like he is my brother. 

"if we are done here, you can leave," I said pointing towards the door.

"you could have called the cops, I felt the pocket knife in your sock yet you didn't use it" he mumbled towards himself.

"yeah I have school tomorrow, so I am going to go to sleep," I said fake yawning and walking past him to my bedroom. 

but he grabbed my arm rather roughly. what is up with people doing that. 

"or you just guilty that you did that and you knew you deserved it" 

I stared at him. actually looked at him. where did the loving and supportive brother I had go. 

ok maybe he kept some broken promises but he still was never this horrible. 

"Why are you so desperate to blame me," I asked him softly 

"because it would make sense why he never loved you," he said harshly. I would have been hurt but I knew he didn't I don't hide that fact. so it had not affected me. 

"or maybe he was a sexist bastard" I retorted with the same tone. 

another familiar stinging on the cheek. at this rate, I would get plastic surgery done to make my face look normal. 

"don't call him that" 

"Are you done?" I look at him with hooded eyes. he scoffed. 

"I would continue what I started but I see you're still getting over your boyfriend" he chuckled out. 

then it clicked. 

"did you tell the boys from the team to talk about stuff like about me," I asked him scared of his response. being scared of the response probably means that somewhere deep down I still loved him. 

"After what you did to dad you didn't deserve love or friends. you don't deserve this house either but dad insisted you had it. even after what you did to him, he still pities you" he spat out. 

the banging noise from the door closing startled me. I didn't release he had left. 

my own blood broke me